


Follow Me Home

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-17
Updated: 2010-07-15
Packaged: 2019-01-19 07:33:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 41,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12405903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Lily is having a long summer. Her friends have all gone on holiday and left her with no one but her sister to talk to. Her life, however, is about to take an unexpected turn...





	1. A Lonely Summer

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

** Follow Me Home **

1: A Lonely Summer

With a defying wail the wind tore into the side of the houses on the small countryside road, rattling windows and commanding trees to wave their branches unsteadily to each other. Lily Evans sat at the window of one such house, watching as the roaring wind ripped leaves from the trees in her garden and flung them viciously at the glass panes. Sighing slightly, she tore her gaze away from the view as she heard someone enter the room behind her. Her sister, Petunia, had slipped in and was now looking upon Lily with a contemptuous gaze. She was tall and skinny, so skinny in fact that she appeared to have been stretched, her skin pulled tight over her pinched face and she had the permanent impression of her nose being stuck in the air in disapproval of entire planet.

“What are you still doing here?” Petunia asked of her sister.

“I could ask you the same thing,” came Lily’s reply, “haven’t you got a home to go back to?”

Petunia turned her nose up even more if that was possible, “You know I’m staying the weekend.”

Lily chose not to reply and turned her gaze back to the window hearing her sister huff quietly and stomp not so quietly from the room slamming the door behind her. Lily ignored the sound reverberating from the door frame and the shrill shriek that followed it immediately coming from her mother. A split second later the door swung open again to reveal Lily’s mother and she strode straight over to where Lily sat curled up against the window.

“Lily! Did you just slam that door?” She cried.

Lily snapped her head round immediately and frowned, an indignant look on her face, “No.” She replied simply, “that was Petunia. She needs to work on her temper control.” This last part she muttered under her breath and it went unnoticed by her mother.

“I’m sick of you two always putting the blame on each other! This stops now!”

“I’m just sitting here, mum. I haven’t done anything, I haven’t even really moved for a while.”

Lily’s mothers gaze softened and she frowned slightly, “Why don’t you go out and do something? Can’t you get in touch with any of your friends?”

Lily sighed, this was the reason she’d resorted to watching the weather wreak its havoc on her neighbourhood, “They’re on holiday mum. They won’t be back until a few days before we go back to school.”

“Oh. How about some of your old friends, you know, from primary school?”

Lily shook her head, “We’ve lost touch, mum. Everything would just be too hard to explain anyway.”

“You could always go for a walk? If you headed down for the shops you could pick up something nice for tea.”

Lily shrugged, “I don’t know whether I’m really in the mood.”

“Mum!”

Petunia had flounced back into the room again and, after throwing one hateful glance in Lily’s direction, turned to her mother.

“What is it, Petunia?”

“Just to let you know that I’m going out for a meal – I won’t be back ‘till late!”

“That’s lovely dear, have a nice time.”

Petunia gave a sickly smile, “Oh, I will, bye mum!”

She left the room as buoyantly as she’d entered it and they both heard the front door shut before Lily spoke again.

“I think I will go for a walk actually.”

Her mother smiled, “Oh excellent, do you good.”

~*~

Lily trod the familiar path down to the local shops a slight frown on her face that she seemed not to realise she was wearing as she directed her gaze to the floor, deep in thought. Her sister, although she had left home before Lily arrived back for the summer holidays, was still managing to irritate her every day and make her feel unwelcome in her own home. She let out a barely audible sigh and, with one swift movement, kicked the leaves that the gale had torn from the trees up in air. As she lifted her head to watch their progress she had a shock, a shock that made her jump backwards involuntarily. In front of her face stood a beaming James Potter. 

\-----------------------------------------------------

A/N: I know this is short but I wrote it a while ago and I think it works like this! Longer chapters will be longer - hollar if you like it!

 


	2. Potter and Shocks

_A/N: This is the last part for a week as I’m going on holiday in the morning; be back a week Saturday! I’ve written the next part so I’ll put it up as soon as I get back!_

2: Potter and Shocks

Lily opened her mouth slightly in shock as James continued to grin at her.

“You might want to close your mouth there, Lily, you’ll catch a fly.”

She shut it with a snap and narrowed her eyes at him.

“What are you doing here, Potter?” She asked, looking at him suspiciously.

“Came to see you.”

“It’s just a shame that I don’t want to see you then isn’t it.” Lily retorted and pushed past him to continue on her way.

“Where are you going?” James called after her.

“None of your business.” She replied before adding, “Leave me alone.”

She began walking briskly away from him, anticipating more attempts at conversation on his part but when she chanced a glance back, he had disappeared. Lily muttered something about disaparating in public and shook her head as if trying to rid herself of James’ presence as she walked into the shop.

She meandered through the aisles, absent minded picking up things and putting them back on the shelves, all the while feeling thoroughly sorry for herself. It was difficult not to be miserable she reminded herself, when she had no one for company but instead had to put up with the constant presence of her irritating sister, talking non-stop about her wedding with their parents with such urgency an outsider would believe it was next week not next year. 

She had received no more than two owls from her friends all summer; all gushing with what a good time they were having in their various exotic locations and none of them particularly close together, leaving Lily feeling desperately alone in the summer before her last year at school. Now to top it all, Potter had appeared, obviously determined to make her summer even more miserable than it already was. _How_ he had found out where she lived she would never know…

“Alright love?” Asked the elderly man behind the counter as Lily approached him, suddenly aware she had completed her shopping so absorbed in thought she hadn’t even realised what she was doing.

“Yes, thank you,” she answered politely and passed him her money.

Picking up the bag with her purchases, Lily moved towards the door, thinking vaguely about owling her friends again when she got back. As she shut the door of the shop behind her another huge gust of wind nearly tore the carrier bag from her hand. Gritting her teeth in frustration she set off for home, already looking forward to hiding up in her room where no one could bother her.

Lily finally turned around the corner to head up her road and began to speed up slightly as her goal of home got closer. She came to a sudden stop, however, when a certain James Potter appeared directly in front of her, still grinning like a Cheshire cat.

“Potter!” She shrieked, “Stop doing that!”

“Doing what, Lily?” Asked James innocently.

“Apparating in front of me!” She shouted and immediately clapped her hand over her mouth after realising how loud she’d been. Once ascertaining that there were no muggles around, Lily resumed her glaring at James who had a highly amused look on his face. “And stop grinning.” She snapped.

“You gotta admit, Lily that was quite funny.” Smiled James.

“Stop doing that as well!” 

“What?”

“Calling me Lily! When did I say you could call me Lily?!”

“Well,” James shrugged, “I just thought…”

“Well you thought wrong! Will you _please_ get out my way so I can go home.”

James didn’t say anything; rather he seemed slightly shell shocked from the outburst and an impatient Lily tutted as she pushed past him to head up her drive. James seemed to recover from the shove and turned his head to watch her insert her key in the lock and walk into the house. 

He sighed slightly and turned away from the house just as an ear splitting scream rented the air. James jumped around … that was Lily’s scream. Before his brain had caught up with his legs James was running up the drive to Lily’s house. Reaching the slightly ajar door, he pushed it open slowly, suddenly afraid of what he might find inside.

“Lily?” He called out uncertainly into the silence.

When there was no answer he slowly moved further into the house, his hand firmly on the wand hidden in his pocket. His ears strained he stopped, sure he could make out muffled sobbing. He approached a door in front of him, from which the noise seemed to be coming from and gently pushed it open. His brain froze his body for a split second as he took in the scene in front of him. Lily seemed to be slumped over two other people who were lying, unmoving on the floor.  His heart thumping wildly in his chest, he let out a near silent sigh of relief as he realised that he wasn’t seeing Lily’s body in front of him, she was the one crying; huge heaving sobs were racking her body.

“Lily?” He ventured quietly, not wanting to alarm her. When she didn’t respond he crossed the room and dropped down on his knees beside her. 


	3. Panicking

_A/N: I’m back! Thanks for all the replies! This chapter is a little short but I’ll try and post the next tomorrow to make up for it!_

3: Panicking

Lily lay protectively across her mother, crying so hard that her chest was beginning to hurt when she heard a voice close to her right ear saying her name very quietly. She lifted her head slowly and, blinking back the tears in her eyes, brought James Potter’s head into focus. She sniffed at him.

“Lily, what’s happened?” James asked her, a note of urgency in his voice.

She spoke, her voice sounding strangely distant to herself, “I just, just got in and f-found them here…” 

She gulped, fighting back a fresh wave of tears that threatened to engulf her. James meanwhile, had bent over her mother, searching it seemed, for a pulse. He moved quickly over to her father and did the same before turning back to her.

“They’re both still alive.” He said, “But barely, we need to get them to St Mungo’s”

Lily, whose face had lit up momentarily at his words, turned ashen again as he finished.

“You do know they’re muggles don’t you…” She said so quietly that James hardly heard it.

“Yes, but this looks like a wizard attack and St Mungo’s will be able to help them.”

“But I don’t know how to get there! I have no way to get there!” She said, panic evident in her eyes.

James didn’t reply, he lifted his wand, muttered some words and Lily watched as something silver shot out of his wand and out of the door.

“What was that?!” She shrieked, not meaning to be so loud but beyond caring.

“Someone will come to get them to St Mungo’s.” James replied, looking at her with worried eyes, “Just calm down, it’ll be okay.”

Lily felt her temper, so close to the surface around James, flare up, “Don’t tell me to calm down! My parents have been attacked!”

James bit his lip, “Sorry…” He said quietly.

Lily frowned at him and turned away as a fresh wave of tears overcame her barriers and spilled over her cheeks.

“Lily…” Whispered James, a worried tone in his voice. He reached over and tried to put an arm around her but she wriggled away and put her head in her hands.

They sat in silence for several minutes until a popping noise heralded the arrival of two official looking wizards with the St Mungo’s emblem emblazoned on their robes. Lily lifted her head from her arms and watched as James leapt to his feet and had a hurried conversation with the wizards. Before she had registered what was happening they had conjured stretchers and disappeared with her parents, leaving her alone with James. She scrambled to her feet and turned to look at James who interpreted her gaze.

“They’ve taken them to St Mungo’s.”

“I want to go. I need to go.” Lily said, panicking slightly.

“Can you apparate?” Asked James.

“No, not yet – tell me how to get there!”

“I’ll take you.”

“I don’t need you to take me! I can manage by myself, thanks.” She retorted, “Just tell me how to get there and I’ll take the knight bus or something.”

“Don’t be stupid, Lily, I can apparate with you, it’ll be quicker.”

“Don’t call me stupid!” 

She angrily tried wiped away the tears that kept falling down her face but for some reason it didn’t seem to work and the next thing she knew James’ arms were around her and she was clinging onto him as if her life depended on it, sobbing her heart out into his chest. She felt his arms tighten around her and then the strange sensation that apparition brought.

“Lily?” James whispered into her hair, “We’re at St Mungo’s.” 


	4. St Mungos

_A/N: Yes I do realise that it’s Friday and not Monday like I said! I got a little preoccupied – it was my 18th birthday on Tuesday so everything else just went out the window for a few days! Now the recovery period is over (it was needed!) I’ve written some more! It should be coming more frequently as well now fingers crossed!_

_Anyway thanks to everyone who has reviewed – it means a lot! Hope you enjoy this chapter and please review again! :-D_

4: St Mungo’s

At James’s words Lily pulled her head up and stepped out of his arms, suddenly very embarrassed by the position. She turned her head away, trying to wipe her eyes discreetly while under the pretence that she was seeing where they were.

“You didn’t have to bring me here.” She muttered, avoiding his eyes.

“I wanted to.” James replied simply, “Come on; let’s find out where your parents are.”

After some mild protesting from Lily, during which she demanded that he leave her now and that she would be just fine, James steered her towards the reception desk and she enquired after her parents.

They began climbing the heavily worn marble stairs in silence, Lily thinking about how she normally wouldn’t stand to be in James’s presence for more than thirty seconds and simultaneously getting annoyed at how he kept ordering her about. Just when she opened her mouth, about to firmly demand that he leave now, he put an arm to stop her careering along down the corridor and gestured towards the ward door to their right.

Lily swallowed the lump in her throat as she looked through the door before turning back to James.

“You can go now, it’s fine, I’m fine, you can go, I’ll be fine.” She practically stammered, falling over the words in her haste to speak them.

James raised one eyebrow, a feat that impressed and even slightly amused Lily for a split second before she realised who was performing it.

“I don’t mind staying with you, Lily.”

“I mind though.”

Without allowing him to respond she promptly turned her back and pushed through the ward door trying to look confident and purposeful.

“Erm, excuse me.” She tentatively asked a very busy looking Healer who was attempting to read about five sheaf’s of parchment at the same time.

“Yes?” she said, looking up at Lily.

“Erm. I was told my parents were on this ward – they’re Muggles…”

“Oh, the Evanses?”

“Yes,” replied Lily, nodding at the same time to emphasise her answer, “Can I see them? Are they okay?” 

“I’m afraid you can’t see them right now, there are Healers trying to sort them out. I tell you what; go back out there,” she indicated the door to the corridor, “and take a seat, as soon as you can see them I’ll come and get you.”

“Okay.” Said Lily resignedly.

With one last glance at the Healer Lily moved away, pushing the door to the ward open and stepping back out into the corridor.

She blinked; after the harsh lights in the ward, the corridor seemed very dim and she found that she couldn’t see very well. Looking to her right she saw what seemed to be a chair moving - that couldn’t be right - she rubbed her eyes and suppressed a groan as what appeared to be a moving chair was in fact James Potter getting up from a chair and coming towards her.

“Why are you still here?” She asked of him as he reached her.

“I figured you might want some support.”

“Well you figured wrong, Potter.” Lily could make out James frowning slightly at her and that irked her, “What are you frowning at?” She half snapped.

James regarded her for a moment before asking, “Why have they sent you back out here?”

Despite her brain telling her not to talk to this idiot she found the words coming out of her mouth before she could stop them, “the Healer said I had to wait out here until they’d finished ‘working’ on them.”

“Oh.” Said James, “Do you want to sit down?” he gestured towards the seats.

“No, I bloody well don’t want to sit down!” She retorted, losing her temper again, “I want to see my parents!”

“I know.” Replied James gently and the obvious sincerity in his voice made her look at him, “I can understand you’re worried, I would be exactly the same in your position… but there’s nothing you can do…”James held up his hand at this point because Lily opened her mouth as if to retort angrily again. Surprising both herself and James, she closed it again to listen to him, “…except wait for the Healers to finish doing their job. So why don’t you sit down?”

Lily stared at him for a moment, fully ready to respond angrily when she realised that she had neither the energy nor the reason so instead she gave a half shrug and slumped down onto a seat. James hid a small grin and positioned himself on the chair next to Lily without a word.

They both fell into a silence that was uncomfortable for Lily but it seemed, as she kept stealing glances at James, perfectly comfortable for him. Lily stretched out her legs and curled them back under her seat again before stretching them out again a split second later and swinging them to and fro. She could feel James’s eyes on her but chose to keep her gaze focused on her swinging feet, backwards and forwards, occasionally hitting the sides of the chair by accident.

Shadows were creeping down the long corridor, invading the small spaces under the chairs, in corners and invariably darkening the hospital. Lily jerked her head up at the sound of footsteps echoing in the gloom but soon cast her eyes downwards again as she saw it was simply a hospital worker lighting various floating candles. They cast an eerie glow around and made Lily close her eyes and wish desperately that she were at home with her parents rather than in the darkened corridor of a hospital with James Potter of all people. She sighed, rather more loudly than she intended and James looked across at her again.

“How are you doing, Lily?” He asked her in a soft voice.

“I’m extremely frustrated and anxious which I’m sure you could have figured out for yourself.” She snapped. 

A silence fell once again and Lily wriggled uncomfortably in her seat before muttering disjointedly, “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to snap… I’m just worried…”

She looked up from her hands and found that James was staring at her again, the intensity of his eyes was quite overpowering and Lily found she couldn’t look away.

“Don’t worry about it.” He replied and looked away down the corridor while Lily shook her head slightly to rid herself of James Potter thoughts and wriggled down in her seat again, trying to get comfortable.

Lily had just pushed herself back up in her seat again, in her established fidgeting to find the best position ritual she had adopted, when she felt James’s arm snaking across her shoulders. She froze for a moment prepared to throw his arm away and yell at him for touching her when she realised she didn’t really want to. Resigned to his presence and strangely comforted by it she relaxed and allowed herself to lean into James and rest her head on his shoulder. 


	5. Shrieking Sisters

_Hi everyone!_

_First off I’m really sorry this has taken me so long to update but my life has been 100 miles an hour at the moment! I have dodgy internet connection for starters so I never seem to be able to get on when I want to! Plus I’m moving out in just under 3 weeks so I’ve been sorting out flats, rent, changing bank accounts etc – very stressful!_

_For the above reasons I’m not sure when the next chapter will actually come but I am still writing this and it will definitely be finished so don’t give up on me!_

_I hope you like this chapter; I’ve made it longer so feedback about the length please – too long, too short? Tell me so I can plan future chapters!_

_Mel xx_

5: Shrieking Sisters

James stretched out his legs gingerly so as not to disturb the red head leaning on him. Finding a more comfortable position he let out a barely audible sigh and looked down at Lily. She had her eyes tightly shut, her breathing was slow and even; she was fast asleep. James allowed himself a small smile at the sight, she looked so sweet, and so innocent, but more importantly she looked as if she hadn’t a care in the world. He stifled a yawn and screwed up his face at the injustices of the world, Lily’s parents were Muggles, they hadn’t done a thing and yet they had been ruthlessly attacked and left for dead. He subconsciously tightened the arm he had draped across Lily protectively and leant his head back against the wall. Just as he had relaxed, however, the sound of footsteps made him snap his head back up and he watched as a Healer approached them purposely.

“Lily,” He whispered, “Lily, wake up.”

She stirred against him and lifted her head up, “What?” She mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

In response James lifted his arm and gestured at the Healer who had just reached them, Lily sat up straight right away, all drowsiness evaporated.

“Miss Evans?”

“Yes. What’s happened, are they okay?” She rushed out, standing up as she spoke.

“For the moment they are but you must be aware that things can change rapidly. They are also still unconscious.”

“Can I see them now?”

“You may, but only for five minutes – and then I suggest that you go home and get some sleep, you can come back in the morning and spend more time with them.”

“Okay.” 

“Follow me then.” The Healer asked.

“Lily,” Said James, standing up quickly, “I’ll wait here for you.”

“You don’t…”

“I’m not arguing with you about this anymore, Lily,” Interrupted James with a grim smile.

“Okay.” She whispered meekly before following the Healer through a door to the ward her parents were in.

Lily rubbed her eyes again as she encountered brighter lighting than in the corridor and nodded her thanks to the Healer as he left her by two beds that were alongside each other in a private room.

Lily slowly lowered herself into a chair between the two beds, gazing at both her parents in turn, they looked so peaceful they could merely be sleeping and Lily had to remind herself that this wasn’t the same as a Muggle hospital with wires and machines bleeping constantly.

Before she knew it the Healer had returned, telling her gently that it was time for her to leave. She rose, giving both her parents a kiss on the head and whispered, “I’ll be back soon,” as she left the room.

As she closed the door to the ward behind her with a gently snap, she saw James walk towards her.

“You okay?” He asked her gently, looking at her with worried eyes.

It was only then that she realised she had been crying silent tears, coursing their way down her cheeks in a constant stream. She sniffed slightly and wiped her face vigorously, embarrassed about keep breaking down in front of him. She looked up, her face still streaked with tears, to see him holding out a tissue to her. It was this simple, silent act that got to her, she found herself smiling and actually let out a choked laugh as she accepted the tissue and wiped her face properly. 

James smiled back at her and reached out to put a hand in the small of her back and began steering her towards the exit. She didn’t say a word but instead let him take her out of the hospital as she wiped her face a few more times, but this time she felt she was crying more because of the kindness he was showing her when she felt so lost.

A blast of air hit her and she realised that they had just left the hospital and also that James was looking at her.

“I’m going to take you home, okay?” He asked quietly.

Lily nodded her affirmative and let him wrap his arms around her, holding her in a protective embrace as he apparated them both to Lily’s house.

An ear splitting scream hit them and Lily focussed her eyes to see the source of the noise; her sister, standing in front of her in the front hall.

“Petunia, shut up.” Grumbled Lily as loudly and as forcefully as she could manage while covering her ears with her hands.

 Petunia ceased screaming and set her mouth in a thin line, glaring at her younger sister in a way that clearly said she was in for it. She looked around Lily and seemed to notice James for the first time; he had taken a step backwards and was looking slightly shell shocked. For this reason the first words out of her mouth were not, as she intended, directed at Lily.

“Who the hell are you?” She demanded as soon as she found her voice.

James closed his slightly open mouth and straightened up unconsciously, “James Potter.” He replied helpfully.

“But, wha- argh!” Petunia screamed frustrated and looked back at Lily who had shut her eyes, “Lily! Where have you been? Where are mum and dad?”

Lily opened her eyes,” Petunia…” She began and then stopped, unsure of how to continue.

“What?!” Shrieked Petunia, her eyes nearly popping.

James looked slightly alarmed and took a step closer to Lily, resting his hand on her arm in what he hoped she’d interpret as a supporting gesture. She turned her head towards him and he smiled slightly encouragingly. Lily took a deep breath and turned back to her sister.

“They’re in hospital, that’s where I’ve been.”

“What?!” Shrieked Petunia again, “What happened? Which hospital? When? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Lily took a shaky breath before whispering, “A wizarding hospital.”

Petunia turned, if possible, even paler and her mouth pursed so thin that her lips almost disappeared.

“Why would you send them somewhere like _that_?” She spat out vehemently.

Lily swallowed and James felt her shaking slightly, he gave her arm a squeeze as she tried to find her voice again.

“Because they were attacked by wizards.” She whispered so quietly that Petunia almost didn’t catch it.

“They were attacked – attacked by people like _you_?!”

Lily shook her head, “No, by dark wizards.”

Petunias eyes flashed, “That’s still people like you. Do you even know if they’re going to be okay?”

“I don’t know.” Mumbled Lily, her voice cracking slightly.

“So thanks to you, they might _die._ ”

At this point James cracked, he removed his arm from Lily’s and stepped in front of her, “I think you’ve said enough.” He said firmly, struggling to keep his anger contained.

“Oh you do, do you? Just who the hell do you think you are, marching in here uninvited?!”

“Petunia…” Muttered Lily, but her sister paid her no heed.

“Someone who cares about Lily,” Replied James, anger now shaking his voice slightly, “and who offered to bring her home when she was so distraught about what had happened!”

“James…” Tried Lily, “James, it doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does, Lily, I’m not letting her speak to you like that when you’ve done nothing wrong.” James replied, not taking his eyes off Petunia.

“I think you’ve overstayed your welcome,” Snarled Petunia, “Get out.”

“I’m going anywhere unless Lily wants me to.”

Instantly eyes were back on Lily, who rubbed her hand across her face wearily.

“Petunia, you don’t even live here anymore.”

“What does that matter? Someone competent will have to stay here to take care of the house while mum and dad are in hospital.”

“Lily.” Said James abruptly, causing her to look at him in surprise, “Can I talk to you for a second?”

Lily nodded her assent and before she had a chance to move Petunia had swept from the hall, slamming the door behind her. Lily jumped slightly at the sudden noise.

“I’ll get straight to the point,” Said James and Lily forced her eyes back to him away from the door, “I don’t think you should stay here while your parents are in St Mungos.”

Lily stared at him for a second before replying, “I’m a big girl James, and ignoring tactics have been employed against Petunia before.”

“She’s going to give you hell over this, Lily; it’s not fair on you.”

Lily shrugged, trying to fake indifference but struggling, “And just what to you suggest?”

“Stay with me.” Came the prompt answer.

“What?!”

“It makes sense,” He replied hurriedly, “You’d be away from Petunia, you’d have plenty of space I can promise you, and my place is literally within walking distance of the hospital…”

“I can’t just stay with you – it’s ridiculous!”

“Why?”

“Because – because … what would your parents say?!”

“They’d be fine, they’re pretty decent people and mum would love to have some female company.”

“But – but…”

“Okay I’m not taking any more buts from you Miss Evans,” He put his hands on her waist and turned her around to face the door before letting go of her. “Go and pack a bag, I’ll wait here.”

Surprising both herself and James, although he wasn’t about to admit it, Lily went upstairs to her room and began to quickly throw a few things into a holdall. As she was zipping it up the door to her room banged open and Petunia barged her way in.

“Where are you going?!” She asked incredulously.

“Away from you.” Was Lily’s short answer. She was pleased to hear her voice had stopped shaking.

“You can’t just go!”

“Watch me.” Lily replied as she went back down the stairs and into the hall, Petunia hot on her heels.

“Wait! How am I supposed to see how mum or dad are?”

“You don’t.” Lily reached James who took her bag off her with one hand and took her arm with the other, “I might get in contact with you if you’re lucky.”

With that note of finality James disapparated with Lily by his side, leaving the shrieks of Petunia far behind. 


	6. The Potter Residence

_A/N: Another chapter! *Jumps up and down in excitement* this has taken much such an unbelievably long time to write! I am so so sorry! It was delayed firstly by my moving out (I’m at university now!) and then because I was determined to make the chapters longer but didn’t know how much to write in each! And it took me weeks to think how best to end this chapter!_

_I didn’t get any reviews last time but please review if you read – it makes my day! You must read this chapter – it’s my favourite so far :-) He he._

_Mel_

6: The Potter Residence

Lily felt her feet touch solid ground and blinked several times to bring her surroundings into focus and waken her sleepy body. It had just occurred to her that she had never apparated for so many times in such a short space of time and the experience was really making her weary, not to mention the fact that it was now the small hours of the morning and she had had only a small amount of sleep in the hospital. 

James, however, seemed to be wide awake and alert beside her, something that she was finding increasingly impossible to master. She swayed slightly, overcome with tiredness and James placed his hand so gently that she could barely feel it, on her elbow and guided her forward into the darkness. She vaguely registered him muttering _lumus_ and directing the pool of light from his wand to the ground in front of them so that they could see where they were putting their feet. 

A short while later James stopped walking, and Lily, a pace behind him, nearly walked into him but stopped herself just in time.

“Here we are.” He stated quietly, as if afraid talking to loudly might awaken the surrounding trees or perhaps he was just taken in by the utter silence that surrounded them.

Lily glanced up and realised that they were standing in the shadow of an enormous house, which with no interior lights on looked scarily menacing. Lily suppressed a shiver and told herself sternly that she only felt apprehensive because of the still night that surrounded them and the sheer size of the house that lay in front of her. Lily started again, James was already walking towards the house and she hadn’t noticed. Stumbling slightly over her feet she quickly gained on him and stood slightly behind him as he lifted his wand and muttered some charms on the door that seemed to grant him access as the next second he had opened it and ushered Lily inside.

James lifted his wand again and with some sweeping movements, lit candles around the hall that they were now stood in. Lily stared around, taking in the grandness of the entrance hall of James’s house which could probably fit the whole of Lily’s house in it. Realising her mouth was slightly open she hastily shut it and marvelled to herself why James had never mentioned his rich background before. She looked back at him and got a shock when his eyes met hers directly, she hadn’t realised he had been staring at her. Lily found herself feeling suddenly nervous under his piercing gaze and hastened to break their eye contact.

“Won’t we wake your parents?” She found herself whispering.

“Nah.” Said James in a perfectly normal tone while shrugging his shoulders, “Can’t you see the size of this place?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets before continuing, “anyway, follow me and I’ll show you to somewhere you can sleep.”

He set off before she could say anything and began ascending the winding stair at the back of the hall, Lily scrambling up behind him. As they walked James lit candles in their way and put the ones out behind them with flicks of his wand.

“I don’t know how I managed without magic at home before I turned seventeen.” James chuckled slightly.

“I’m not seventeen yet and I manage just fine.” Lily found herself replying and was surprised to find a slightly harsh and defensive tone to her voice, something she always used around James but hadn’t for several hours.

Up in front of her James apparently chose not to reply and instead carried on leading the way down a long hallway before once again stopping suddenly meaning that Lily almost walked into him for the second time that night.

“Here you go,” Said James, pushing open the door to his left and flicking the candles on inside with his wand, “there’s your bed and that door there leads to your bathroom. Make yourself at home.”

Lily stepped into the room and James handed her the holdall that he had carried for her, Lily had completely forgotten he had it.

“Thank you.” She whispered two words that she never would have believed to come out of her own mouth directed towards James Potter.

He smiled slightly, “You’re welcome. I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Lily.”

“Goodnight, James.”

***

Lily awoke the next morning as bright sunshine danced across her bed through the thin gap in the curtain. She blinked slightly to bring her surroundings into focus before groaning quietly and rubbing her hands across her eyes. She took her hands off her eyes and opened them again confirming that was in fact, in James Potter’s house and that she wasn’t dreaming. 

‘ _If I’m in James’s house’,_ she thought, ‘ _that means that my parents…’_ “Oh crap!” She swore aloud before sitting upright in the bed, throwing the covers off herself, suddenly panicking about her parents being in the hospital alone. She jumped out of bed and practically attacked her bag to find something to wear. She suddenly paused in the act of throwing a pair of jeans over her shoulder, ‘ _wait a minute’_ she thought, _‘did I just call Potter,_ James _?!’_

She flopped down on the floor and began banging her head on her bag, _‘when on earth did I start calling him ‘James’?!’_ She raised her head when she realised that it must have been last night then immediately resumed her banging when she decided she must have been completely out of her mind to agree to stay with him.

Just when she was beginning to despair about the situation, there came a gentle knocking on the door. Lily lifted up her head in shock just in time to hear James’s voice drifting through the wood, gently calling her name.

_Oh God, oh God, oh God,_ thought Lily, “Just a minute!” She called as she jumped to her feet in a flap, turning around in a full circle twice before realising her clothes lay discarded on the floor. She grabbed the first things she could see and threw them on. Taking a deep breath to calm herself she turned towards the door, dragging her long hair into a high ponytail just before she pulled the door open.

There was the ever smiling James Potter stood in front of her. 

“Morning.” He said.

“Hi,” Lily replied, in a slightly quieter voice than she had intended. Mentally berating herself she felt colour rising in her cheeks to her horror. _‘What is wrong with me?!’_ She thought desperately.

“Did you sleep okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I did.” Lily responded, unable to believe she had managed to sleep when she had been so worried.

“Good. Want to come and get some breakfast?”

“No, I mean yes, I mean no… I need to go and see my parents.” She stuttered.

“I know,” Said James, a sympathetic smile now on his face.

_‘What is wrong with this boy?!’_ Lily thought, _‘why is he being so…normal…’_

“…but you should come and grab some breakfast first, it won’t do you any good if you don’t eat.”

_‘There he goes again!’_  Lily scrunched up her face and James cocked an eyebrow at her.

“Lily? You in there?”

“Er, yeah…” She responded, “Yeah. Breakfast, okay.”

James gave her a swift look but then decided it was time to head down to breakfast and lead the way back down the winding staircase they had walked up the previous night. Lily walked behind him, hitting herself in the head silently.

As they stepped into the grand entrance hall, Lily looked around properly and was amazed at how much bigger it all looked in the daylight. She was busy staring at some very life size portraits of what could only be James’s relatives when she realised James himself had already crossed the hall and was reaching out to turn the handle of a door in the opposite corner. Mentally kicking herself again, she hurried after him and reached him just as he began walking through into what could only be the kitchen.

Following him in, she froze in the doorway at the sight of two people, highly likely to be James’s parents, already sat at the table.

James looked at Lily briefly then back at his parents.

“Mum, dad, this is Lily…” James offered, “Lily, these are my parents.”

James’s parents stood up and beamed at Lily, shaking her hand in turn.

“Hello, Lily, it’s so good to meet you, James has told us so much about you.” James’s mother gushed before ushering her into a chair.

Lily glanced at James, who avoided her eyes; he had been talking about her to his parents?

“James, dear, do sit down.” Implored his mother. James immediately slid himself into the seat opposite Lily, smiling at her as he did so.

“Help yourself, Lily,” Said James, gesturing to the food laid out on the table before he began piling a bit of everything onto his plate.

“I’m not really that hungry…” Mumbled Lily and took an almost tentative sip of her orange juice.

Nonsense, dear, everybody needs a good breakfast,” Said James’s mother briskly – why don’t you try some of these eggs?”

“No, it’s okay… I’ll erm just have some toast.”

Lily picked at her toast, breaking off small bits and chewing slowly while James’s parents bickered good naturedly with each other about an article in the _Daily Prophet,_ which was spread out on the table. James looked up from his food and caught Lily’s eye. She must have looked uncomfortable because he quietly asked her if she wanted to go, she nodded in response and James stood up in response.

“I’m going to take Lily to the hospital,” he announced, “won’t be long.”

With that he swept Lily from the room and out of the house, who followed him as if she were in a dream. James had shut the door behind them before Lily found her voice.

“You don’t have to escort me, James, I’ll be fine.”

James raised his eyebrows, “Do you even know where to go?”

“Erm…” Lily paused, “Well not _exactly_ …”

James chuckled slightly, “I’ll just show you how to get to the hospital from here then leave you alone, okay?”

“Sure…”

***

Lily sighed as she watched her mother’s chest rise and fall, rise and fall slowly but steadily, her eyes never opening once. She stretched her arms above her head and let out a huge yawn, hastily muffled by her hand, and checked her watch. Her eyes widened – it was gone six and James said he would be waiting for her downstairs at half past. She stroked a strand of hair away from her mother’s face gently and kissed her on the forehead.

“I’ll come back tomorrow, mum.” She whispered before moving to her father’s bedside and repeating the process.

She grabbed her bag off the chair and stifled another yawn; it had been a very long day. Lily had sat at her parents’ bedside from the minute she had arrived at the hospital and refused to leave them for a moment, instead choosing to watch their unconscious figures and hoping and against hope that they would wake up. The Healers had been most unhelpful, simply informing the worried Lily that there was nothing more they could do at the present moment except wait for a change in their conditions. Lily closed the ward door behind her with a soft click and headed back down the corridor, her stomach suddenly letting out a loud rumble and she realised that the only thing she had had to eat all day was that piece of toast for breakfast.

As she descended the stairs her eyes scanned the foyer of the hospital and rested on James who was leaning casually against a pillar with his hands stuck in his pockets. She stepped onto the level ground and froze, her eyes still glued on James who hadn’t yet noticed her. His eyes were roaming, watching the people pass by, he just looked so much at ease, so relaxed and Lily felt a sudden flash of envy course through her. Before she had a chance to do anything else James’s roaming eyes had spotted her and he smiled, walking towards her. 

“Hey, Lily.” He greeted as he reached her, “how are they?”

Lily released a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding before replying, “No change.”

James frowned slightly, “Well I’m sure everything will work out fine.” He said, the words coming out with a note of false cheerfulness.

It was Lily’s turn to frown, “You know that do you? When did you perfect divination?” Her voice had a layer of frost and sarcasm and James instantly looked regretful.

“I’m sorry, Lily, I didn’t… I mean… I was just trying to, to help.”

He looked so put out that Lily found herself softening and shook her head, “I know. It doesn’t matter.”

“But, I really…”

“It doesn’t matter,” She repeated firmly, “honestly. Shall we go?”

James nodded and the pair left the hospital, walking briskly along the path they had taken that morning that led directly back to James’s house. 

***

“Were you hungry?”

Lily looked up to see James grinning at her and indicating her almost sparkling clean plate. She blushed slightly and hurriedly wiped her mouth with a napkin to stop him from seeing.

 “Sorry… I haven’t eaten much today.”

James waved his hand, “No need to apologise, I’ve just never seen you eat that fast before.”

He leaned back in his chair and stretched, his eyes sparkling. Lily put the napkin down and narrowed her eyes at him.

“Don’t tell me you’ve been watching me eat now?” She asked scornfully but there was a slight playful edge to her voice.

“There’s nothing that fascinates me more, Lily.” James replied his tone serious but the laughter in his eyes giving him away.

“Oh shut up, James.” Said Lily, letting slight giggle escape her as she threw her scrunched up napkin at him.

With perfect reflexes James caught it inches in front of his face before dropping it on his plate.

“No reason to throw things at me.” He laughed at her.

“James Potter there is _always_ a reason to throw things at you.”

“Hey!” James put a look of hurt on his face, “That’s not fair.”

“Yes it is.” Lily replied, smiling properly now and almost laughing out loud at the expression on James’s face.

James shook his head, still smiling and got to his feet, “Come on, I want to show you something.”

“What?”

“Come with me, I want to show you something.” James repeated before holding his hand out to her, “hurry up!”

Lily frowned slightly but put her hand in James’s allowing him to pull her to her feet. She quickly dropped her hand once she realised what she’d done and stood awkwardly next to him. James however, didn’t seem uncomfortable in the slightest and simply lead the way out of the kitchen, humming as he went.

Lily caught up to him, “Where are we going?” She asked curiously.

“You’ll see.”  He answered mysteriously.

She didn’t bother to reply, her attention caught by the grandeur of the rooms they were passing through. She slowed to a stop as they passed through what could only be a ball room, captivated by the intricately beautiful carvings adorning the high ceiling.

“Lily.” Called James from the other side of the ballroom where he was standing next to a set of double doors overlooking the garden.

Lily started and scurried over to him, “Sorry.” She said breathlessly.

“That’s alright.” He said, looking mildly amused, “Now come on.” He opened the doors and stepped outside.

“Outside?”

“Yes, outside.” He paused, “It’s not cold, Lily.” He teased.

Lily made a huffing noise and followed him out, “Where are we going?”

“Just over here…” He muttered, leading her across the sprawling lawn to a gap in the trees where there was a quaint little gate.

“James, it’s starting to go dark, I can’t see where I’m going,” moaned Lily as she followed him through the gate, “And…”

She trailed off as she stopped next to James in front of a huge lake and gazed at the setting sun as it sank slowly lower over the willows framing the lake, decorating the still water with dancing red and orange rays.

She seemed speechless for several moments before finally whispering, “It’s beautiful.”

“I thought you’d like it.” Replied James in an equally hushed tone, it was as if they thought the setting sun deserved a sort of reverence.

“I do… thank you for showing this to me.”

“No problem.” Said James, stuffing his hands deep into his pockets as he stared across the lake.

Lily shuffled her feet awkwardly; she almost didn’t like this new James Potter she was dealing with. The way was around her made her nervous; she didn’t know how to act around him. It was much easier when he was all cocky and full of himself, she could just act coolly indifferent and ignore him. But now, now things seemed to have changed. She carefully let out a silent sigh so as not to attract his attention and suddenly felt the urge to say something, anything to break the silence.

“James?”

“Mmm?” He replied, keeping his eyes on the lake.

Lily hesitated, “Listen, I just wanted to say that… that I appreciate everything you’re doing for me …” James turned to look at her and she hesitated again before continuing, “because I really need a friend right now.”

James didn’t say anything but simply smiled at her and grasped her hand giving it a small squeeze as they both turned to watch the setting sun sink down below the trees. 


	7. Letters and Distractions

_A new chapter! I did it! It was hard when I have so many assignments to do… so I dropped the assignments and wrote this! Ooops, but never mind, I’m enjoying this too much!_

_Thanks to MurderOnTheRadio who was my only reviewer last chapter (you get a special mention because of that!)_

_Hope you enjoy this chapter and don’t forget to review…_

7: Letters and Distractions

_Dear Claire,_

_Hey, thanks for your letter the other week, it sounds like you’re having a really great time._

_This isn’t easy for me to talk about but I thought you ought to know… my parents were attacked two days ago. I think it was a death eater attack but I don’t know yet and to be honest at the moment I couldn’t care less because I’m so worried about my parents. They’re both still in a critical condition and neither of them have woken up._

_But look, don’t worry about me… Merlin, this isn’t easy for me to say either… James is looking after me. Yes, James as in James Potter. I’m staying at his house; I had to get away from Petunia. He offered when he saw what a total cow she is and in the delirious state that I was, I accepted. He’s being quite sweet though and I’m not feeling the urge to hex him into next year so don’t worry he should still be in one piece by the start of term. My sanity, however, is another matter…_

_All my love,_

_Lily_

Lily put her quill down and skimmed her eyes across the parchment, briefly reading the letter she had just written. She sighed slightly but seemed satisfied and pulled two other pieces of parchment towards her before neatly copying out the letter twice more and addressing them one to each of her best friends.

She walked over to the window where James’s owl perched, watching her. She carefully tied the letters to his leg and made sure he understood the three different destinations they were to be delivered to before watching him fly off into the sunrise.

***

Later that day, when Lily returned from the hospital she shook James away from her and shut herself in her room collapsing tiredly on the bed and shutting her eyes. She was just drifting off into a light sleep when she heard a loud squawk and lifted her head to see that James’s owl had returned and was perched innocently on the dresser.

Lily jumped to her feet and undid the letters tied to the owl’s leg. Once relieved of his burden, the owl spread his wings as if stretching and then turned his wide eyes towards Lily, watching as she began to read the letters and receiving a few gentle strokes of his feathers as she did so. 

_Lily,_

_Babe, I don’t know what to say. I nearly cried when I read your letter, your parents are the sweetest people I know. I’m sure they will be okay, keep your chin up!_

_As for the second – er –_ development, _I didn’t see that coming! He sounds like he’s treating you alright though but if he’s anything but sweet towards you I’ll be over there to rip his head off. I’m not joking, Lily if you need me I’ll drop this holiday I don’t care if my parents ground me for the rest of my mortal life._

_I’m here for you._

_Lots of love,_

_Clare_

_~_

_Dear Lily,_

_I want to give you a big hug. Can you forgive me for not being there for you? Although it sounds like James is your current friend substitute (how on earth did that happen, by the way?!), make sure he looks after you like we all would._

_I’m sure your parents will be okay; they’re tough cookies._

_Owl me anytime you need me,_

_Hannah_

_~_

_Lils,_

_You’re at James Potter’s house?!_

_You’ll have to excuse me I’m finding it hard to be capable of words right now…_

_Send my best wishes and get well soon vibes to your parents, you know they’ll work!_

_Love you lots like jelly tots,_

_Jen_

***

Lily rubbed her eyes and got tiredly to her feet, blinking in the dusk light that was now gracing the room. She crossed to the door before turning slightly and holding out her arm to which the owl came silently. Stroking his feathers absentmindedly once more she made her way downstairs, her footsteps sounding painfully loud in the silence.

She paused in the entrance hall, suddenly realising that she had no idea where James could be in this huge house. Lily looked down at the owl still perched on her arm and whispered, “Do you know where he is?” the owl merely continued to look at her, blinking once just as Lily heard the faint sound of laughter reach her ears.

She smiled slightly and walked towards the door to the kitchen, stopping just outside for a second before pushing the door open slowly. The voices instantly ceased and Lily stepped into the kitchen properly, looking around to reveal James who was leaning back in his chair comfortably with his legs propped up on the table and Sirius, who was sitting next to him in a similar position, looking just as at ease as his friend.

“Hey, Lily.” Said James with a smile which, for reasons unknown to Lily, made Sirius snort with suppressed laughter. James shot him a look and he ceased.

For some reason Lily instantly felt very uncomfortable, “Um, your owl came back… thank you for letting me borrow him.”

“No problem.” James made a clucking sound with his mouth and his owl flew over to him and perched on his shoulder.

Lily felt her eyes being drawn back to Sirius who was just sitting so comfortably in the Potter’s kitchen, slumped across the chair and table as if he owned the place. She nearly jumped when Sirius realised she had been looking at him and made eye contact with her.

“Hello, Lily.” He said with a slightly amused smile playing on the corner of his lips.

“Hello.” She replied politely but then instantly felt uncomfortable again, she didn’t know Sirius at all, and she had no idea what to say to him.

“Sirius just popped round for a bit of company.” Offered James by a means of explanation. “Pull up a chair, Lily.” He added, gesturing to the other chairs around the table.

“Yeah, that and the chance to sample some of your mother’s fantastic cooking.” Said Sirius as Lily slid into the chair next to James, “but it seems I chose the wrong time to come!”

“Why?” Asked Lily, looking between the boys, “Where is she?”

“Work.” Answered James shortly, “my dad too.”

“Shame.” Said Sirius easily, “I was really looking forward to a good old chat.”

James stuck his tongue out at Sirius childishly and Sirius simply laughed, leaning back even further in his chair and stretching his arms up.

“Do you like the house, Lily?” Asked Sirius suddenly making Lily start.

“Oh – yes, it’s lovely… if not a bit too big.” She replied to Sirius but her gaze quickly turned on James when he let out a short laugh.

“You get used to it.”

Sirius snorted, “What are you talking about – you grew up here! You know it like the back of your hand.”

“Well yeah…” Agreed James, “But you’ve got to know it pretty well by now too.”

“It’s one of my many talents.”

“One of your many talents is knowing the way round the Potter household?” James chuckled.

“It does seem to be a rare talent.” Piped up Lily, “You’d need a sniffer dog to find things in this place.”

“Woof.” Said Sirius innocently which promptly sent James into peals of uncontrollable laughter.

“What?” Asked Lily, confused.

She watched as James doubled over and struggled to control his laughter.

“Did I say something?” Asked Sirius, his face still a perfect picture of innocence.

This only seemed to make James laugh harder and Lily looked on utterly confused as Sirius cracked a smile and whacked James on the head.

“Shut up you plonk.” He grinned.

James lifted his head, wheezing slightly through the bouts of laughter that still escaped his mouth. It was at this point that the kitchen door opened and James’s parents walked in.

“James! What on earth…” Said his mother looking at him in astonishment; Lily supposed that was due to the tears of mirth now running down James’s cheeks.

“Sirius-“ James managed to gasp out.

“Sirius Black, what have you done?” Demanded Mrs Potter, now turning on the other boy in the kitchen.

“Nothing, Mrs P!” Replied Sirius indignantly, correctly interpreting her unspoken assumption that he had hexed her son.

James finally managed to stop laughing and grinned at Sirius who simply shook his head in despair at his friend.

“You two are going to be the death of me.” Declared Mrs Potter before turning slightly and seeming to notice Lily’s presence for the first time, “Hello, Lily, I hope these boys aren’t traumatising you too much?”

“No, it’s okay, Mrs Potter.” She replied, watching James wipe the tears away from his face out of the corner of her eye and stifling a smile.

“Why don’t you boys show Lily the games room?” Suggested Mr Potter.

“Sure.” Said James as he got to his feet, “Come along children.” 

He headed out of the kitchen with Sirius hot on his heels complaining, “James I resent you calling me a child – I’m only two months younger than you…”

Their voices trailed off as the door swung shut and Lily realised, too late, that she hadn’t risen from her chair. Mrs Potter smiled knowingly at her.

“They can be a bit much sometimes can’t they? Especially when they’re together.” She chuckled affectionately, “Don’t worry dear, they may be a little loud but they’ve both got hearts of gold.”

Lily smiled slightly in reply as she got to her feet and made to follow the boys, “Thanks, Mrs Potter.”

***

“Sirius! You cheated!”

“Shoot me.”

Sirius grinned wickedly at James who only groaned dramatically in response.

The three of them were sprawled on a large rug in the middle of the games room currently engrossed in a very complex wizarding board game. Lily had long since given up trying to understand the rules and instead accepted the fact that there was no way she could win anyway because Sirius kept cheating. Not that she realised he was cheating when he did though, because she didn’t understand the rules.

“Lily! Back me up!” Demanded James drawing the red-head’s attention.

“Huh?” She responded.

“Bad luck, James, the girl’s not paying attention.”

“Back me up,” James said again, ignoring Sirius, “He’s cheating!”

Lily shrugged, “He probably is.”

“Ha!”

“She said probably, James.” Sirius pointed out, grinning wickedly.

“ _Lily_!” James, whined, actually _whined_.

Lily suddenly giggled, surprising herself, “How am I supposed to tell? I don’t get the rules of this stupid game.”

“The world as we know it has come to an end.” James raised his arms theatrically. 

“Don’t be a sap, James.” Snorted Sirius and whacked him on the head for the second time that night.

“Ow!” 

“You deserved that.”

“No I didn’t!”

“Yes you did.”

“No I-“

“Shut up!” Interrupted Lily, attempting to look stern but failing with an outburst of giggles, “You are both insane.” She shook her head.

“Probably.” Said Sirius instantly, “So we’re agreed then? Game over and I win.”

“Urgh.” Managed James, “You are impossible.”

“Probably.” 

Lily stretched yawning and then stood up, drawing the attention of both boys to her.

“Well thanks for an _entertaining_ evening, but I’m going to go to bed now.”

“Goodbye, Lily… we’ll miss you…” Said Sirius, sniffing dramatically and wiping a fake tear away from the corner of his eye.

Lily giggled, “You’re mad.”

“There’s no hope for him,” Responded James, earning himself another whack to the head, “Ouch! Honestly, Sirius… Night Lily.”

“Goodnight.” 

***

It was only after she had slipped into the comfortable bed upstairs when she realised that intentionally or not… _probably intentionally_ , she thought to herself, James and Sirius had managed to keep her distracted and amused for most of the night. More importantly, her thoughts had not strayed to her parents for hours consequently meaning that she had been more relaxed than she had been in days.  _James is so scheming;_ she thought as she pulled the covers up to her chin and fell asleep with a small smile on her face. 


	8. Revelations

8: Revelations

Lily stood in front of the full length mirror in her room in the Potter house, tugging a comb through her long hair. She was hoping to visit her parents later that day and as the Healer had told her the day before that they were likely to wake up soon, she wanted to look her best. She pulled her hair over her shoulder and began plaiting it, finishing just as there came a soft knock at the door.

“Come in.” She called as she deftly slipped a bobble over the end of her plait to keep it in place. 

The door opened and James came into the room, looking up, Lily met his eyes in the mirror and smiled slightly.

James seemed reluctant to return her smile, “Lily,” He began, looking hesitant; “There are a couple of Aurors downstairs wanting to talk to you.”

“Oh.” She replied and turned around to face him. If she’d thought about it before, she would have thought it odd that no one had been to speak to her already.

“I’m sorry,” James said hurriedly, “I’ve been turning them away for a couple of days, saying that you need to be left alone for a bit … but they’re quite persistent they see you now.”  

_Oh,_ Lily thought, _that’s why …_

“It’s okay, James – I’ll talk to them.” She said aloud.

“If you’re sure?”

He looked so worried that Lily even laughed slightly.

“I’ll be fine … but thank you.”

James smiled in response to her laughter and gestured to the door, “Alright then, come on, they’re in the kitchen.”

Lily was about to tell him that she didn’t need an escort to the kitchen but stopped herself just in time, deciding that it would be comforting to have James with her and so she walked with him down to the kitchen in silence. He pushed open the door and walked in, Lily followed and her gaze settled on the two male Aurors who were sitting rather stiffly at the expansive kitchen table.

“Lily Evans, I presume?” Said the one closest to her, and he shook her hand as she nodded, “I’m Clive Westwood and this is my colleague, Martin Gibbons. Take a seat.”

Lily sat and saw James sit down next to her out of the corner of her eye. The word _overprotective_ sprang to mind …

“Are you alright with Mr Potter sitting in?” Asked Westwood with a slight frown in James’s direction.

“Yes.” Replied Lily, with half a glance towards James. From the look on his face it seemed that he had every intention of ‘sitting in’, whether he was wanted or not.

“Okay, we just wanted to ask you a few questions about the day your parents were attacked.” Clarified Gibbons and Lily swallowed a sudden lump in her throat as she nodded.

“Is it correct that you were not in the house at the time?” Questioned Westwood, who suddenly had a pad of parchment and a quill in front of him. Lily blinked at it before responding.

“Yes; I went out to the shops.”

“So it was just the two of them in the house?”

“Yes, my older sister, Petunia, had been there but she left before I did.” Lily stopped but then saw Westwood begin to open his mouth and added, “She’s a muggle.”

“Right, I see … When you discovered your parents; did you notice anything odd?”

“What – apart from the fact that they were lying about almost dead on the floor, you mean?!” She exploded incredulously. She felt James’s hand on her arm and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry.” Westwood apologised, “Let me rephrase – was there anything unusual about the house? Anything you noticed?”

Lily hesitated; now that the question was posed to her she could barely remember what had happened that day, let alone the state of the house.

She shook her head, “I’m sorry, I can’t remember.”

“Okay, it doesn’t matter.” Gibbons said quietly.

“I just want to ask you one more thing,” Said Westwood and Lily stared at the quill whizzing across the parchment in front of him, “Did – sorry - do your parents know any wizards who may bear a grudge against them?”

Lily frowned deeply and looked up at Westwood’s face which was deadly serious, “My parents are muggles,” She clarified, even though she knew that the Aurors knew this fact, “they don’t really have any contact with wizards.”

Westwood glanced at Gibbons and nodded slightly, “Okay, thank you, Miss Evans.”

“Erm,” Said Lily hesitantly, “If you don’t mind me asking … what’s with all these questions? Surely you don’t go around questioning this much after every Death Eater attack?”

This time it was Westwood’s turn to frown, “Did you not look above the house before you entered, Miss Evans?”

“I – what?”

“There was no Dark Mark.” Elaborated Gibbons quietly.

Lily felt James shift in his seat beside her as he spoke up for the first time, “You mean that this was no Death Eater attack?”

“It certainly seems that way.”

Lily’s mouth fell open, “But – I thought-“

“Of course, it is still possible that the perpetrators were Death Eaters but I find it extremely unlikely. I have never known a case where the Dark Mark had not been cast. Incidentally, did you not wonder why your parents had not been killed outright? The _Avada Kedevra_ is typical in Death Eater attacks.”

“It is beyond doubt, however, a wizarding attack,” Continued Gibbons, “Therefore we will be doing everything within our powers to discover the perpetrator.”

“That is all for now, Miss Evans, unless you have any more questions?”

“Er – no …” Lily stuttered slightly, still feeling slightly in shock.

“Alright then.” Said Westwood, “Thank you for your time – we’ll be in touch.” Lily felt James half rise out of his seat next to her, “We’ll see ourselves out.” He added and bopped his hat to Lily as he left.

Lily rested her face in her palms and stared down unseeingly at the table as next to her, James blew out a long slow breath before putting a hand on her back and rubbing it gently in slow circles. 

“You okay?” He asked quietly.

“I don’t know.” She replied honestly, keeping her eyes trained on the table.

James sighed again and removed his hand, “Come on, let’s go outside.”

Lily looked up at the abrupt suggestion, “Why?”

“’Cause I said so.” James said with a smirk and for a minute Lily saw the James she thought she knew in his face.

“James-“

James grinned, a proper smile coming out as he stood up, “No seriously, my parents will be home soon and I doubt you want to have to answer loads of questions from them.”

Lily groaned and stretched, “Damn you, Potter, you’re right.”

“As always.” Came the smart reply and Lily took a swipe at him, “Oi!”

Lily looked at her watch and frowned as she stood up, “Why are your parents coming home at half nine in the morning?” She asked.

James waved a hang airily, “They work nights sometimes.” Lily opened her mouth again but James spoke before she could, “You coming outside then?”

***

Lily and James sat side by side on the swing seat in James’s garden, engaged in a light meaningless conversation. Positioned strategically in a nest of trees, the swing seat was invisible from the house and yet gave a perfect view down the expansive lawn to those sitting on it.

“So what was it like, growing up in this huge place?”

“Exhausting.” James laughed.

“What, going from one side of the house to the other?”

James continued to laugh, kicking his legs off hard from the ground causing the seat to swing rather alarmingly. Lily shrieked and whacked James on the arm.

“Lily, I think we need to talk about this violence issue you seem to have.” James said very seriously.

“Shut up, you prat.”

“Yes and the name calling issue.” James added.

“But, James, that’s not name calling; that’s the truth.” Said Lily sweetly.

“Hey!” He said indignantly, “That’s enough James-bashing for today thank you.”

Lily giggled, “But it’s so fun!” James looked sideways at her, a slightly lopsided grin on his face, “What?” She asked, poking him.

“Nothing.” He supplied immediately and instead turned his grinning face away from her and gazed out across the garden.

They both fell silent for a while and Lily inspected her fingernails out of nervous habit, stealing glances at James every few seconds. She noticed his grin had fallen off and was replaced with what an outsider would describe as a vacant look but Lily knew he was thinking. She couldn’t say how she knew but she did.

After a few more minutes of silence, Lily, still gazing at her hands unseeingly, let out a barely audible sigh. Miraculously James heard her, maybe he had been vainly listening out for some sign of life from her, she didn’t know, but he turned his head towards her once again and frowned slightly. The carefree look seemed to have disappeared from his face.

“Thinking about what those Aurors said?” He asked her softly.

“Yeah.”

“Me too.” James admitted, now holding her gaze, “I don’t know what to make of it.”

Lily sighed again and bit her bottom lip, “I wish it had just been a Death Eater attack. As horrible as that is – at least I wouldn’t have had to worry about some unknown wizard who has possible grudges against my mum and dad.” She paused before adding, “Or more likely against me…”

At this point she tore her eyes away from James, suddenly feeling immensely guilty. Petunia had been right - it probably _was_ all her fault…

James, it appeared, seemed to be thinking along the same lines as her, “Lily,” He said sharply, “Lily, look at me.” Reluctantly she lifted her head to lock eyes with him, “None of this is your fault – you realise that don’t you? You’re not to blame for what happened so don’t even think it.”

Lily wrung her hands desperately, “But-“

“No.” James interrupted her firmly, “Don’t go down that road, Lily, it’s not worth it.” When she didn’t reply he grabbed her hands and squeezed them, “You’re not to blame,” He repeated, this time more gently, “Okay? Trust me.”

Lily hesitated, looking down at the hands still holding hers before lifting her head up again and nodding.

“Good.” He said and let go of her hands, Lily pulled them slowly back into her lap.

“James…” She began slowly.

“Yeah?”

“How did this happen?”

“How did what happen?”

“This.” She said vaguely, “I mean, I let you into my life and suddenly you’re the one person I can talk to, the one person who can comfort me and reassure me … like you just did.”

“Isn’t it a good thing?” He questioned with a slight smile on his face.

“No -  I mean yes, of course it is, it matters to me now when I’m going through all this to have someone there for me … I just – never thought it would be you.” She finished the last statement quietly.

“Well it is.” He said and Lily saw that he was smiling properly now, “And you’re stuck with me.”

Lily smiled a bit, “I suppose we’re sort of friends now.” She ventured, shocking herself at voicing her thoughts aloud.

“Well you’ve got my friendship, Lily.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” There was a brief pause where they smiled at each other and then James said, “Oh come here.” And pulled her into a tight hug, “I’m always going to be here for you if you need me, you know that right?” He whispered into her ear.

They pulled apart and Lily nodded, “I know,” She replied, “And thank you.” She paused, “Now let’s talk about something else before I’m sick from all this mush.”

James laughed and obligingly set off a heated discussion about flying carpets which was completely nonsensical.

_Yes,_ thought Lily, as James chattered on unconcernedly, _I’ve definitely gained a friend here._

\----------------------

Hello, me again! I’m not too happy with this chapter but I felt I’ve kept you waiting long enough and I can’t really think of another way to edit it! Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter – keep them coming! Oh and there won’t be such a big wait for the next chapter I promise! This isn’t totally unfounded because I’ve already written most of it! Until next time…

Mel xx 


	9. Receiving the Bad News

_A/N: I didn’t get any reviews for the last chapter … a few at the start of the story but they’ve been slowly dwindling out! So if anyone’s still reading this please let me know by hitting that review button! I don’t see much point in posting it if no-one’s reading!_

_Mel xx_

9: Receiving the Bad News

Lily woke slowly the next morning, stretching out luxuriously under the covers as she yawned widely before opening her eyes. A glance to the clock on her bedside table told her that it was already half past nine. She sat up hurriedly, her covers falling from around her as she swung her legs out of bed and began to get dressed. It had not been her intention to sleep so late, she had wanted to get to the hospital by nine. She swore quietly as stubbed her toe in her haste to get her socks on and silently blamed James for not waking her up.

As she was tugging a comb through her unruly locks she heard the doorbell ring downstairs. Pausing in her task, she curiously strained her ears to see if she could identify the caller. When all she could make out was muffled talking and doors closing she finished her combing and began to head downstairs.

With the intention of berating James for not waking her up, she paused in the hall before hearing soft sounds of laughter coming from the kitchen and heading over. She briefly wondered why James always sat in the kitchen when he had the largest house she’d ever seen to wander about in but shrugged it off when she entered the kitchen and discovered that it had been Remus who was at the door and he was, at that moment, sat with James at the kitchen table laughing at something his friend had just said.

They both looked up when Lily entered and she was immediately reminded of being in a similar position a few days previously, only it had been Sirius not Remus who was sat with James.

“Hello, Lily.” Said Remus, smiling warmly at her

“Hi, Remus.” She smiled back. Out of all the Gryffindor boys he was the one she got along best with, “How are you?”

“Not too bad, thanks – you?” He looked slightly tentative and Lily supposed James must have told him about her situation.

“I’m alright.” She replied with a slight shrug before turning to James, “I’ve got a bone to pick with you.” She said sternly.

James looked genuinely shocked, “Me? What have I done?”

“You didn’t wake me up this morning – I told you I wanted to be at hospital for nine.”

“Ah,” James replied looking sheepish, “Sorry. I didn’t want to wake you; you looked so peaceful…” _He had been watching her sleep?_ Lily was surprised to see him turn slightly red, she didn’t think she’d _ever_ seen James Potter blush, “and well, you know, I thought you could do with the sleep…”

“Smooth, James.” Remus said, chuckling.

Lily was about to say something else when the door opened behind her and she was grabbed from behind, hands placed over her eyes.

“Guess who!” Sang a voice.

Lily laughed slightly, “Get off me, Sirius.”

“How did you know it was me?” Pouted Sirius after he had taken his hands off her eyes and moved round to sit at the table.

“Lucky guess.” Said Lily with a smirk.

Sirius turned to James, “Is Peter coming?”

“He said he was – I expect he’ll be late.”

Lily cleared her throat and all three boys turned to look at her, she felt herself go hot, she had not meant to attract all of their attentions.

“Erm,” She started, “I’m going to the hospital now – I’ll be back about lunchtime I think.”

James smiled at her, “See you later.”

“Bye Lily.” Said Remus

“Cia.” Supplied Sirius with a little wave.

Lily smiled and as she left the kitchen James’s excited voice carried over to her, “So, who’s up for Quidditch?”

***

As Lily walked through London she found her thoughts drifting towards her friends.  Seeing James and his friends together made her realise just how much she missed them. She sighed quietly, as much as she appreciated James’s hospitality and her new found friendship with him, there were just some things she’d love to be able to talk to her girlfriends about.

She started suddenly; her body had unconsciously taken her all the way into St Mungo’s while she had been deep in thought. Collecting herself together she swallowed hard to dispel the lump that was forming in her throat and treaded the familiar path up the stairs towards the rooms that her parents were in.

It wasn’t until she was outside her dad’s room that she realised something was wrong. There was no light coming from the room and the usual bustle of Healers coming in and out was distinctly lacking. She frowned, a heavy feeling settling on her heart as she reached out to push open the door…

***

Lily stood by the edge of the lake, gazing out across its slightly rippling surface and musing on years gone by when her dad used to take her on long walks in the park amid the autumn leaves, the summer sun and even the winter snow. They had always tended to end such walks with a visit to that very lake where they would feed the ducks. Lily closed her eyes and could almost transport herself back in time, clutching her dad’s hand and nervously throwing bread out to the ducks, shrieking and giggling when her offering was devoured.

She opened her eyes slowly and as a gust of wind tore across the park and an ominous rumble of thunder sounded around her. She remained perfectly still as the heaven’s opened and a steady downpour of summer rain soaked through her clothes and her hair. Sniffling once, very quietly, she watched a line of ducks swim across the far side of the lake.

Somewhere in her mind she registered the sound of footsteps behind her, but it wasn’t until a cloak was thrown hastily around her shoulders that she realised she had company. Wrenching her gaze away from the ducks, she turned her head slightly to see James, cloak-less, standing next to her.

“James …” She whispered, “James … my dad …” She trailed off, unable to continue.

“I know,” He replied softly, “I went to the hospital looking for you.”

Without another word he drew her into his arms, holding her so tightly Lily felt she might break, but she didn’t care. Suddenly overcome with emotion she wrapped her arms around him, buried her face into his shirt and began to cry.

She wasn’t sure exactly how long they stood like that in the rain, but all too soon she felt James gently pushing her away from him.

“Come on,” He said quietly, “You need to get out of the rain.”

Lily nodded silently and pulled James’s cloak tightly around herself, at the same time noticing that he was now soaked through as well. He put his arm around her shoulders, once again pulling her close to him as he began to lead her away.

Lily remembered very little of the walk back to James’s house, she barely registered that she was putting one foot in front of the other. The only thing that was clear in her mind was James’s presence and his comforting arm wrapped around her.

Almost immediately after they had entered the house, rain sodden and dripping on the ornate wooden floor, than James’s mother appeared and gasped at the sight of them.

“What on earth?” She exclaimed.

James moved forwards slightly with his arm still draped protectively around Lily.

“Her dad…” He said softly before shaking his head.

Mrs Potter’s eyes widened as she took in her son’s meaning and she immediately pulled Lily into an embrace, stroking her soaked hair.

“Oh you poor dear.” She murmured.

Lily, squashed into another caring embrace, squeezed her eyes shut and leant into Mrs Potter’s shoulder as the tears began falling freely again.

“Come on dear, let’s get you out of those wet things and sorted out.” She said kindly.

Lily sniffled as she pulled out of Mrs Potter’s arms and glanced at James who was still watching her with sad eyes.

“I want to stay with her.” He said to his mother.

“No, James. I think she’s better off with me for the moment. You go and get changed then go and see your father in the drawing room.”

James turned his gaze back to Lily as if asking her without words if she would be alright with his mother. He must have seen the assent in her eyes for a smiled briefly, sadly for a moment before uttering, “I’ll see you later.” and she nodded, not trusting herself to speak without croaking.

Still in a daze, she allowed Mrs Potter to lead her upstairs to her room where she helped her get dry and changed.

“Thank you.” She said quietly as she tugged her now dry hair into a loose ponytail.

“Your welcome.” Mrs Potter replied in the same tone, “If you ever want to talk to me, I’m here.” She added.

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” Lily told her sincerely.

“Is there anything you need now?”

Lily bit her lip unconsciously, “I’d like to see James, if that’s okay.”

“Of course, dear, I’ll show you where the drawing room is.”

Mrs Potter beckoned to Lily and Lily followed her back through the grand house, barely paying attention to the route.

“Here we are.” She said, pushing open the door to the drawing room and standing back.

Lily stepped slowly into the room and saw James sitting on a sofa, talking quietly with his father. As soon as they noticed her James got to his feet and crossed the room to her. He paused for a moment, looking her in the eyes before he pulled her into his arms again. Lily responded gladly to the embrace and moved her own arms to grip James as tightly as he was gripping her, and buried her face into his chest, breathing in the comforting scent of his shirt.

Somewhere in the back of her mind she registered the soft sound of footsteps and heard the door click shut quietly, realising that James’s father had left them alone. Unwilling and feeling quite unable to remove herself from James’s comfortable embrace, she whimpered quietly when he tried to pull away to look at her and held onto him more tightly.

“Shhh.” He whispered, holding her close and rubbing her back in small, comforting circles, “It’s okay … it’s alright ...”He sighed suddenly, a great exhale and Lily felt it rumble through her body, “Shhh,” He said again and Lily realised that her crying was becoming steadily more hysterical and she could barely control her heaving shoulders. 

He stopped rubbing her back and just held her for a moment before surprising her by dropping a soft kiss to the top of her head. The mere shock of his act caused her to calm slightly and James took the opportunity to move them slowly over to the sofa.

In her new position Lily wriggled, tucking her legs up beneath her and burying her blotchy tear-soaked face into James’s shirt. She felt James move slightly next to her as he shifted so as to wrap both of his arms comfortably around her. She sniffled and choked up again as she felt the tears begin to renew their falling. James must have felt her body shake for he resumed his rubbing of her back and murmured soothing shushing noises against her ear.

Looking back, Lily supposed that was how she had spent much of the night, crying in James’s arms, and he had stayed up with her, holding her and soothing her until she had no tears left to shed. 


	10. Coping

_A/N: New chapter! Don’t quite know how I managed to write this in between the multitude of assignments I’ve had to do but never mind! Only thing I have to say is that the next chapter shouldn’t take as long as I have exams next week then I don’t have any more pressures for a while! Thanks to vamperfly and flower123 for reviewing the last chapter!_

_Mel xx_

10: Coping

Lily slowly opened her eyes, heavy from lack of sleep and puffy from crying, blinked a few times and glanced around her feeling slightly disorientated. It took a few more seconds to realise that she was still in the drawing room and slightly longer to realise that her comfortable pillow was breathing. She shifted slightly and looked up to see that James was fast asleep but still maintained an uncommonly firm grip on her. She sighed almost inaudibly and buried her face into James’s chest, trying to forget about why they were there in the first place.

Lily lifted her head again when she felt James move slightly and watched him groan slightly as he rubbed his eyes with one hand and then move to massage his neck.

“Sorry.” Lily said quietly.

“What?” Said James, confusion etched across his features, “What are you sorry about?”

“Well everything I suppose … last night … being such a girl … and you’ve hurt your neck because I fell asleep on you. I just – I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Lily.” He replied, immediately dismissing the matter, “You know I don’t mind.”

With that he put his other arm around her and drew her in close, holding her in a protective embrace. She smiled slightly in spite of her mood and tucked herself up so that she was resting comfortably against him.

“Lily?”

“Mmm?”

James paused for a moment before continuing, “Don’t kill me for mentioning this – but what are you going to do about your sister?”

_Petunia._ “Oh, no.” Moaned Lily.

She pulled away from James slightly to gauge the seriousness in his face – he was frowning.

“I need to talk to her: I need to… tell her…” She trailed off and James squeezed her hand comfortingly.

“She’s going to be so mad that I haven’t been to see her these past two weeks…”

“I thought you wrote to her?”

Lily bit her lip, “I did, a few times … but I don’t know if she even read the letters …”

James looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking again, “Do you want me to come with you when you go to see her?”

Lily hesitated for a second then shook her head, “No. No, it’s okay… it’s probably better if I speak to her alone.”

“Sure?”

“Yes, James,” She smiled slightly, “But thanks for the offer.”

She glanced at his face to find that he was watching her closely, a small frown etched between his eyebrows and sympathy reflected in his eyes.

“Things will get better, Lily.” He said softly.

Lily sighed and leant against him again, “I hope so, James. I hope so …”

~*~

Lily stood in front of her quiet house for a moment, taking a few calming breaths before she inserted her key into the lock and turned it, stepping cautiously into the deserted hallway.

“Petunia?” She called out hesitantly. When she received no answer she headed into the kitchen and called out again; “Petunia, are you here?”

This time she heard a distant thump and Lily held her breath as her sister stormed down the stairs.

“You’ve got some nerve.” Said Petunia as she stopped in front of Lily, her face contorting angrily.

“Did you get my letters?” Asked Lily, ignoring her.

“Yes.” Said Petunia shortly, “But couldn’t you have used some other method of communication?”

Lily shrugged.

“Well?” Her sister snapped.

“Well what?”

“Do you have something to say? There must be a reason you came back from your boyfriend’s house.”

“James isn’t my boyfriend!” 

“Whatever, Lily. Just tell me what you came here to say.”

Lily froze suddenly, for a moment she had almost forgotten her purpose. She hesitated before speaking again.

“It’s not good news.” She said slowly, and mentally berated herself for her wavering voice. Petunia’s eyebrow’s furrowed but she didn’t speak, wordlessly inviting Lily to continue. “It’s dad …” She swallowed, “He – he – he … didn’t make it.” She finished lamely, unable to bring herself to use the ‘d’ word.

There was a silence between the sisters for a moment, while Lily watched Petunia process the news, her face turning ashen white.

“Are you … serious?” Petunia asked her in a whisper.

Lily nodded, her throat too tight to speak as Petunia’s shock suddenly turned to anger.

“You did this.” She whispered, her voice now laced with venom, “This is all your fault … you killed dad!” She finally screeched.

Lily jumped and furiously shook her head, “It’s not – not my fault.” She choked out, recalling James’s words from only a few days ago.

“Yes, it is, you freak!” Petunia yelled, advancing on Lily. “You and your freakish ways and those freakish people from _your_ world. _They_ did this to dad – and it’s all your fault!”

Lily took a step backwards and felt a tear fall despite her determination not to cry in front of her sister, “Petunia … please…”

“Just get out, Lily.” Said Petunia in disgust, “Go back to your boyfriend.”

“He’s not –“

“Get out!” She shouted.

Lily threw another desperate look at Petunia before fleeing the house, tears now falling freely down her face.

She took another backwards look at her house before stumbling down the road, heading for the park where James had insisted he meet her.

As she walked into the park she located James quickly, he was perched on a bench watching some boys play football on the other side of the grass. He turned his head as she approached him and stood up when she reached him, allowing her to fall into his arms sobbing.

“Hey,” James whispered, “Calm down. What happened?”

He sat down again, pulling Lily with him as she sniffled, trying to curb her sobs.

“Shh.” He whispered and stroked her hair for a moment trying to calm her down, before pushing her away gently, “Talk to me, Lily.”

“Oh James,” She said, croaking slightly, “It _is_ my fault, Petunia’s right. Dad’s not here anymore because of me.” With that she began sobbing again, trying to hide behind her hands.

“Lily.” Said James firmly, “Lily,” He repeated and took her hands away from her face, holding them gently in his own, “Remember what we talked about the other day?”

Lily sniffed and nodded, “But –“

“No. It _isn’t_ your fault, Lily. You can’t blame yourself.”

“Petunia –“

“Is upset.” James finished firmly, “And wants to lay blame, but she _shouldn’t_ have lain it with _you._ ”

Lily took in a deep breath as she calmed down slowly, “You think?” She whispered.

“I know.” James corrected, “So I don’t want to here any of this talk again – okay?”

Lily laughed slightly at James’s stern face and smiled through her tears, “Okay.”

James smiled back at her, “Good.”  He squeezed her hands briefly before letting them go and turned his attention back to the football game, “Now, do you think you can explain this game to me?”

~*~

Lily tore down the stairs at the Potter manor with a piece of parchment clutched tightly in her fist. She grunted with impatience as her long hair broke free of its lose pony tail but didn’t stop to correct it, instead letting it fly out behind her like a scarlet banner. She paused for a moment at the foot of the stairs, listening hard before racing off again towards the games room where she could hear the distinct sounds of laughter. She skidded to a stop just outside the door and pushed it open, gasping slightly to get her breath back.

James and Sirius looked up at her with identical bemused expressions on each of their faces as they took in her slightly dishevelled appearance.

“Are you alright, Lily?” Asked James, frowning slightly but his tone suggesting he was more amused than concerned.

“Yes,” She replied before promptly beaming at them and waving the piece of parchment around, “My mum’s woken up!”

“That’s great!” Said Sirius, grinning back as he and James got to their feet.

He then proceeded to grab her in a bear hug causing her to squeal out of surprise and then giggle as she swatted him off. James watched in amusement until Sirius released her before walking over and giving her a quick hug of his own, squeezing her tightly for a moment before letting her go.

“Right then,” Said James, “Looks like we’re going into London.”

Lily shook her head slightly, “It’s alright – you don’t have to come with me.”

“James and I have a few things to get, don’t we?” Said Sirius, looking sideways at James and winking.

James grinned back at him and Lily rolled her eyes.

“So anyway,” Said James hastily, having caught Lily’s eye roll, “We’ll walk in with you then meet you at the hospital after a couple of hours?”

“Okay then.” Lily replied shrugging, “If you insist.”

“Oh but we do.” Said Sirius, linking arms with her and smiling lopsidedly down at her.

“Without argument.” James added from her other side as he also linked arms with her.

Lily giggled slightly and both boys grinned, steering her out of the house.

~*~

Lily ascended the stairs in St Mungo’s, her heart beating fast out of anticipation, the euphoria at having just found out that her mum had awoken masking the depression that had been settling over her heart the last few days.

She reached her mum’s door and, with her heart in her throat, pushed it open and slipped inside to be greeted by an excited exclamation of her name from the woman sat half propped up in the bed in front of her.

Lily beamed and threw herself at her mother, catching her in a hug so tight she was almost in danger of cutting off her mum’s air supply.

“Oh, mum, I’m so glad you’re awake.” Said Lily into her mum’s shoulder, “I mean, the healer told me you were but I couldn’t _quite_ believe it until I saw you…” She cut herself off realising she had been rambling, and leaned back to observe her more carefully.

Her mum smiled, “The doctors told me you’ve been coming every day.”

Lily nodded, deciding not to explain that they were healers not doctors, “How are you feeling, mum?” She asked anxiously.

“Oh … alright, you know. Bit tired … I’m quite drained.”

Lily bit her lip, _did she know about dad?_ She thought, then quickly deciding that she didn’t want to bring that topic up just yet she changed tack, “Mum … did you see who did this to you?”

Her mother frowned slightly, “No, and it’s most frustrating you know – the attack came from behind … I’ve already told this to those men who came in just before you got here.”

“What men?”

“Oh, some sort of police, I think, but you know,” She lowered her voice slightly as if it were a secret, “Magical ones.”

Lily smiled at her mother’s fascination with the wizarding world, “They’re called aurors, mum, and they’ll catch who did this – they’re very good.”

There was a slight pause while Lily’s mother contemplated this,

“So, have you been alright at home on your own?”

“Oh, erm … I’ve actually been staying with a friend. Petunia’s house sitting.”

“Have you really? I thought all your friends were on holiday?”

“Oh yeah, well, this is another friend.” Answered Lily lamely.

There was another silence and from the look on her mum’s face, Lily knew what she was thinking but she just felt that she had to check.

“Mum,” She said tentatively, “You have - have been told haven’t you?”

Their eyes locked and Lily knew that her mother understood her. She nodded, “Come here.” And Lily fell into her mother’s comforting embrace, screwing her face up to prevent the tears from falling again.

They sat like that for quite a while in a comfortable silence, Lily leaning up against her mum, trying to gain a silent reassurance that everything was going to be alright.

After a while they began to talk again, and it was much later in the afternoon when there came a knock on the door and a friendly faced healer poked her head through.

“Excuse me,” She said, “But, Lily, there’s a young man out here asking for you.”

Lily’s eyes widened and she glanced at her watch, “Oops.” She said, more to herself than anything, “I’ll be right back, mum.”

“Okay, love.” Her mum replied, looking slightly amused.

Lily stepped outside and found James waiting for her.

“Oh, James, I’m so sorry, I didn’t notice the time!”

James smiled, “It’s okay.”

“Where’s Sirius?” She asked, looking around.

He was smirking now, “Downstairs, chatting up one of the receptionists.”

Lily laughed slightly and shook her head, “Do you want to come in and meet my mum?” She asked, “She won’t bite.” She added when she caught sight of his hesitation.

“Alright then.” He replied and Lily led him back into the room.

“Mum, this is my friend, James – who I’ve been staying with.” She introduced, gesturing to James.

He stepped forward and kissed her on the cheek, “Pleasure to meet you, Mrs Evans.”

“You too, James.”

Lily smiled slightly at James’s manners; she had never known he had been brought up so well …

“Well, Lily, we’d better go before Sirius wreaks havoc on the whole hospital.” James said turning to Lily, then upon noticing Lily’s mother’s puzzled expression, elaborated, “Sirius is my best mate, I left him downstairs in reception but he has quite a knack for causing trouble.”

Lily snorted at James’s innocent expression and hastily turned it into a cough, earning herself a raised eyebrow from her mother.

“I’ll come back tomorrow, mum.” She said hastily, kissing her on the cheek.

“Alright, love. Nice to meet you again, James.”

James inclined his head slightly, “And you, Mrs Evans.”

“Oi, you.” Said James as soon as they had shut the door behind them, “What was that snort of laughter for in there?”

Lily grinned, “Just amused me how you kept a straight face while talking about Sirius being a trouble maker – seeing as how you’re usually involved in all the trouble making with him.”

“Well. What can I say …”

Lily laughed again and looped her arm through his as they descended the stairs, “Charmer.”

“My parent’s brought me up that way.” Replied James slightly defensively.

“I’m only joking, James.” She said as they reached the ground floor and began scanning for Sirius, “I think it’s quite sweet, actually.”

James grinned down at her before spotting his friend, “Oi, Sirius!” He yelled across reception, Lily rubbed her ear, wincing. Sirius spotted them instantly and waved before bounding over.

“Hey guys. How’s it going?”

“Lily thinks I’m sweet.” Said James triumphantly.

Sirius laughed, “I think we’ll have to keep an eye on you, James.”

“I didn’t say that!” Protested Lily, “I just said that I thought the way you _acted_ …”

“Quit while you’re ahead,” James whispered in her ear, “You know I’m sweet.”

James’s breath on her ear made her shiver slightly and she felt herself blush much to her annoyance. “Whatever, James.” She said lightly, trying to brush it off.

James merely smiled ahead of him as they walked out of the hospital, but Lily couldn’t help but think that it was rather a triumphant smile. 


	11. Putting to Rest

_I have had this chapter on the go for_ months _it’s actually quite ridiculous how long it’s taken me!! All I can say is that I have a lot going on in my life right now so I’m never going to be able to update the following week but hopefully the next chapter will be up before the end of January!_

_Anyway, this chapter is my Christmas present to anyone still reading – and if you are; a review would be a lovely present back!_

_**Merry Christmas!!** _

_Much love, Mel xx_

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** Chapter Eleven **

Lily sat in the kitchen at Potter Manor, quite alone and nursing a large mug of coffee as she stared broodingly into its murky depths. She had been to visit her mother earlier that day to inform her of her father’s funeral arrangements, Petunia having grudgingly written to her about it. Lily hadn’t been too heartened by the correspondence for Petunia had made it quite clear that she had only told Lily about the funeral because she needed to let their mother know. 

Having made the necessary arrangements for her mother to leave the hospital for the funeral (which had taken most of the morning), Lily was now exhausted. She rubbed her eyes half heartedly and took a large gulp of coffee. She was rather lonely; she couldn’t even guess where James was and his parents were almost _never_ in the house … she had never managed to get out of James what they did – her curiosity was certainly mounting.

Just when she was beginning to despair at the silence enveloping her she heard the front door slam shut, followed closely by a great shout of laughter and a babble of voices. Lily dropped her head down onto her arms; James was one thing but she didn’t really think she was in the mood for the full marauder experience. _Too late,_ she thought miserably, as the voices got louder and the kitchen door opened.

“Lily?”

It was James. She heard a thump.

“Are you asleep?” He asked uncertainly.

She heard stifled laughter and nearly groaned as she slowly lifted her head up.

“No.” She said unnecessarily.

“Cool.” Said James.

Lily rolled her eyes at him and then turned her head to realise that she had guessed correctly and all the marauders were indeed present.

She suddenly felt inexplicably nervous, “Right. Well, I’m going to –“

“Come play Quidditch with us?” James interrupted.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Come on, it’ll be fun.”

She looked uncertainly between them, “I don’t really play…”

“Everyone plays.” Said James and he waved his hand dismissively while getting to his feet, “You can borrow my old broom.” He said as if settling the matter. He moved towards the door then turned around when he realised that Lily wasn’t following him. He took a few steps back and extended his hand to her, “Coming?”

Lily looked at him for a moment, before slowly putting her hand in his, allowing him to pull her to her feet. “I must be mad.” She muttered. James must have heard her for he grinned slyly at her before tugging her out of the door, keeping a firm grip on her hand. _It wasn’t so bad,_ Lily thought to herself as she let herself be led.

~*~

_This is awful!_ Lily thought to herself as she stood with her arms crossed on James’s private mini Quidditch pitch, watching the boys flying above her.

When James had offered to help her mount her broom she had denied, feeling slightly horrified, and said she would be right behind him … but she had bottled out. Truth be told, she hadn’t been on a broom in years and the prospect completely and utterly terrified her – not that she was about to admit that to James. Now, she realised with mounting panic, James had noticed that she was still on the ground and was heading down to her. With her mouth slightly open, shed watched as James performed a steep dive and came to a stop, hovering at her level just in front of her. _Show off._

“What’s up?” He asked with a small smile.

“Nothing.” She replied a little too quickly.

James raised an eyebrow, “Why aren’t you on the broom then?”

“Don’t rush me.”

James raised his eyebrow even further. Lily stared at him.

“Lily.” He started slowly, “You’re not … scared, are you?”

“What? Scared? No, nope, not me, I’m fine.” She said quickly.

James hopped nimbly off his broom. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise.”

“Realise what?”

“That you’re scared of flying.”

“I’m not scared of flying!”

“Why haven’t you got on your broom yet then?” He asked again.

“Because …” She muttered.

James chuckled and Lily looked mortified.

“Don’t! Don’t laugh at me!”

James smiled, “I’m sorry.” He put his hands palm out in front of him, “And I’m sorry I assumed you would want to play Quidditch.” Lily looked so worried that he reached out and took her hands in his own, “It’s okay.”

“It’s not. I’m really embarrassed … I haven’t actually been on a broom since first year.” She confessed, avoiding his gaze.

“Really?”

It was Lily’s turn to smile at the incredulity in his voice, “Really.”

“But-but, why? Why wouldn’t you want to fly?”

“I just like to keep my feet firmly on the ground.”

“Have you actually flown, Lily?”

“I – well… not properly…”

“Then how can you know you won’t like it?” Asked James with something of a triumphant expression on his face.

“Well I – I just know, alright?”

James grinned, “No, not alright.”

“ _James.”_

“Flying is _amazing,_ Lily … let me teach you.”

“What?!” Lily exclaimed.

“I’ll teach you,” James repeated, “Where’s that broom?”

“No way!”

“Yes, way.” Said James, continuing to grin.

“There is no way you’re getting me on that broom, James Potter. Especially not with your friends watching.” She cast her eyes skyward.

James followed her gaze to where his three friends were chucking a quaffle around, “They’re not watching.”

“I don’t care!”

“Oi, James!” Sirius bellowed, “Get up here!”

“Coming!” James yelled back and then turned to face Lily.

“No.” She said quickly.

James shook his head sadly, “You’re a stubborn girl, Evans – but I’ll break you.” He winked at her and then flew off.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” She yelled after him but got no response, “Boys…” She muttered to herself.

~*~

James found Lily on the porch later that evening; he plopped down next to her and watched her until she turned her head.

“Stop staring at me!” She said.

“Nope.”

“James!”

“Yes?”

Lily opened her mouth, shut it again and then shook her head, “Have your friends gone?”

“Yep.”

Lily paused, “Are your parents home?”

“Nope.”

Lily stared at him, he was grinning incessantly, “Stop it!”

“Nope.”

“You are infuriating.” She told him.

James’s grin widened, “I try.”

Lily groaned, “What do I need to do to get you to stop?”

“Fly with me.” He said promptly and produced his broom.

“What – with you … on there?” She said slowly.

“Yep.” James said cheerfully.

“No …”

“Oh go on.” He said, nudging her playfully, “I promise I won’t let you fall.”

“I don’t…”

“How can you say you don’t like flying if you’ve never experienced it?” James said seriously, “And this way you won’t have to _do_ anything – just sit there … I would never let anything happen to you Lily, I promise you, you’re safe with me.”

“Why do you want me to so much?” Asked Lily, stalling for time.

“Because.” His grin was back. He stood up and held his hand out to her wordlessly. She stared at it for a  moment before looking at his face, once she had looked into his eyes she knew she had given in … she slipped her hand into his and nearly fainted when he gently pulled her up.

He mounted the broom and looked round at Lily, “Hop on behind me.” He instructed.

Lily took a deep breath and climbed, non too gently, onto the broom behind James and wrapped her arms very tightly around him. James chuckled and Lily could feel it reverberating though her, they were that close together. She shivered.

“Ready?” James said over his shoulder.

“No!” Said Lily, panicking, but it was too late for James had already kicked off the ground and was rising steadily into the air.

“Oh my gosh.” Said Lily as she watched the ground fall away from them, “James!”

“Relax, Lily.” He called back to her.

“I can’t!” She shouted and tightened her grip on him.

James slowed to a stop in the air and turned his head to look at her.

“What are you doing?” She shrieked.

“Flying.” James laughed, “Lily. Just breathe.” He took one of his hands off the broom and prised one of her hands off of him so he could entwine them together. He gave her hand a squeeze, “Look at the view.” He said simply.

Lily slowly turned her had, maintaining her death grip on James as she did so, and gasped as she took the landscape in, “wow.” She said quietly.

“Wow indeed.” Confirmed James before attempting, and failing, to tug his hand out of her grip, “Can I have my hand back? Only I sort of need it.”

Lily released his hand immediately and turned bright red, burying her face in James’s back to hide it. A few seconds later she felt her stomach lurch unpleasantly and lifted her head to see that James had pulled into a shallow dive. Her eyes widened, but before she could shriek, she stopped herself and realised that she was actually rather enjoying it. She smiled at the revelation. 

“Okay, Lily?” Shouted James. 

“Actually, yeah.” She replied.

“Good!”

James flew another circuit, which Lily was beginning to enjoy, and then announced that he was taking her down. As they reached the safety of the ground Lily got off the broom and wobbled unsteadily on her feet, grabbing James’s arm for support.

“Alright?” He asked, looking sideways at her.

Lily nodded, “Just about.”

James chuckled, “Did you enjoy it?” He asked slyly.

Lily pulled a face at him, “It wasn’t _too_ bad…”

James simply laughed and put an arm casually around her shoulder, steering her back to the house. 

 

~*~

“Are you sure you don’t want any breakfast?” Asked James anxiously, and when Lily shook her head wordlessly he walked over to her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

It was the day of the funeral and Lily was stood in front of a mirror staring at her reflection and wondering if she really looked that pale and drawn. She screwed her nose up and turned around, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear as she did so.

“I don’t think I can do this.” Said Lily very quietly.

James looked at her with sad eyes, “I know its hard Lily, but you will get through this.”

Lily shook her head, annoyed with herself at the sudden tears in her eyes. James put his arms around her and held her close to him; Lily screwed her eyes up to stop the tears from falling and grabbed hold of him. Holding onto him as if he was the only thing that was stopping her from falling.

After a few comforting minutes, Lily pulled back slightly from James and looked him in the eye.

“James, can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Will you come with me?” She asked hesitantly, scanning his face for a reaction. “Please.” She added after noticing his hesitation, “I can’t do this alone.”

“What about your mum?”

“Well, she’ll be there… but James, I just – I just…”

“It’s okay.” Said James, cutting her off, “I’ll go with you.”

Lily smiled slightly, “Thank you.”

~*~

“Mum!” Lily cried as soon as she spotted her mother, and launched herself into her arms.

“Hello, Lily.” Her mum whispered back, holding her tightly and stroking her hair gently.

“How are you mum?”

“Oh much better, thank you.”

“She’ll be discharged in a few days.” Smiled the Healer who was accompanying Lily’s mother.

“Oh, mum, that’s great.” Said Lily, pulling away from her mother.

She glanced up and noticed for the first time that Petunia was hovering nearby. She smiled at her but received a glare in return. Lily felt her smile slide off her face and averted her eyes across the room coming to rest on James, who was still standing somewhat awkwardly back near the door. She gestured to him to come over; he did so and was quickly at her side. She turned back to her mum.

“Mum, you remember James?”

“Of course. Hello dear.”

“Hello, Mrs Evans.”

“What’s _he_ doing here?” Hissed Petunia venomously.

“Petunia.” Said her mother sharply, “Don’t be rude.”

Petunia fell silent but redirected her glare onto James who pretended not to notice.

~*~

As the service began, Lily, sandwiched between her mother and James, took a few deep, calming breaths.            Silently and discreetly, James took her hand and gave it a comforting squeeze, Lily gripped his hand tightly in return and kept her eyes cast to the front, trying to ignore the loud sniffs coming from her left where Petunia sat next to her fiancée.

Friends were standing up to speak now, but Lily, who was concentrating hard on not breaking down in front of everyone, could barely hear the words above her own pounding heart.  Then quite suddenly she felt guilt surging through her, a bubbling, unbidden force threatening to engulf her where she sat. She closed her eyes briefly and gripped James’s hand even tighter, wanting to hold on to something real, someone who maintained she should feel no guilt for her father’s death. James must have noticed the increased pressure for he closed any remaining distance between them and whispered in her ear, asking if she was okay. Lily found herself nodding automatically, her eyes fixed unseeingly ahead, the edges of her vision blurring slightly from unshed tears. Just when she thought she couldn’t bear it any longer, she felt James pull his hand out of her grip and slide his arm around her back, settling it comfortingly around her waist. She sighed, almost inaudibly, and leant into James, lightly resting her head on his shoulder as the service continued. 

~*~

As soon as the funeral party had reached her house, where her sister was holding the wake, Lily went straight to the corner where the drinks were and poured herself a scotch. James came up behind her and put a light hand on her hip.

“You want to go easy on that.” He murmured, so that only she could hear.

“Bugger off, James, I’ll do what I like.” She snapped at him and moved away to sit on the sofa. She knocked back her drink and stared moodily into the glass, only looking up when her mum came and sat beside her.

“I’m being discharged on Friday – are you going to come and pick me up?”

Lily smiled and gave her mum a tight hug, “Of course I will, mum.”

“I can’t wait to get home – I’m sorry you and Petunia are at logger heads with each other.”

Lily smiled sadly, “It’s alright, mum – I’ll come home when you do. Petunia’s looking after the house while you’re… away.”

“Good.” Smiled her mum, “Well I’d better get back now.” She indicated the Healer who was beckoning to her, “I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.”

Lily watched her mum go and felt another wave of sadness sweep over her, she looked at her empty glass and then around the room until her roaming eyes found James. He was stood against a wall, hands deep in his pockets, just watching. She set the glass down and felt a small smile grace her face as she made her way over to him. When she reached him, she put her arm through his and leaned against him.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you.” She whispered.

James smiled at her, “It’s already forgotten.” He said softly.

They stood in silence for a moment, before Lily locked eyes with her sister.

“Oh no, she’s coming over.” She said, and James moved his head to watch her progress.

“Lily, take your boyfriend and get out of here.” She said, without preamble, “I think you’ve stayed long enough.”

“You can’t –“ James began angrily.

“It’s okay, James,” Lily said, cutting him off, “I want to go anyway.” She finished, without looking directly at her sister.

“This isn’t right,” Said James, “It’s your father’s funeral … you two should be-“

“Don’t you be giving me a lecture,” Snapped Petunia, “I don’t even know you and you shouldn’t even _be_ here!”

“He’s here for me, Petunia,” Interrupted Lily in a strained voice, “I’ve got just as much right to invite someone as you have! Now please, will you just… just leave me alone.”

Petunia screwed up her face slightly but stalked off with her head held high. Lily turned back to James who was looking after her sister with distaste. She touched his arm to get his attention.

“Will you please take me back to yours?” 

~*~

“Well wasn’t that just a walk in the park.” Said Lily sarcastically as they headed up to James’s room ten minutes later.

“Your sister’s something else.” James agreed.

Lily flopped down on his bed and closed her eyes, “Ugh.” She muttered.

After a moment of silence she cracked open an eye to see James still framed in the doorway, clutching two mugs of hot chocolate in a death grip.

“What are you doing, James?” She said, hauling herself back up into a sitting position, “You do realise you’re still standing in the doorway?”

“What? Oh yeah…” He stepped in, shut the door and handed her, her drink before sitting down next to her.

“Thanks.” She said, taking a sip, “This is so my comfort drink.” She took another sip and turned to find James staring at her, “Oi!” She hit him on the arm and he winced, “Would you like to join me in reality?”

“Sorry Lil.” He said then cracked a grin, “I’m all yours now.”

“Good.” She replied, and then shuffled closer so that she could lean against him.

“I’m completely and utterly yours.” He murmured almost inaudibly.

Lily felt her heart beat quicker at his words and the warm arm that wrapped itself snugly around her. A silence fell between them and Lily closed her eyes, trying to calm her racing heart as they sat there listening to the rain pour outside.

“Hey,” Said James finally, rocking them slightly to get her to open her eyes. “How’s your mum doing?”

Lily pulled away so that she could look at him, “Oh. That’s what I need to tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“She’s going to be discharged on Friday… so I’ll be going home then… to look after her.”

“Oh… well that’s great news!” Said James with a smile.

“You don’t sound that enthusiastic.”

“I’m really happy that your mum’s better, Lily, I am.”

“But…”

“But what?”

“Come on, James…”

There was a pause and then James spoke quietly, “I’m going to miss you being around.”

“Oh James,” Lily leant over and wrapped her arms around him tightly, feeling him respond immediately. “I’m going to miss you too.”

James pulled back slightly, “Really?”

Lily laughed and James couldn’t help but grin as he saw her face light up.

“Of course I will! But we’ll be back at school in a couple of weeks and you can come round and see me any time you like – I think my mum likes you.” She teased.

“Well, how could she not?” Said James, striking a pose.

Lily laughed again, “Don’t ask me that!”

“Hey!”

Lily stuck her tongue out at him before getting to her feet and announcing she was going to bed. She turned in the doorway and blew him a kiss before shutting the door softly behind her. 


	12. Birthday Surprises

CHAPTER 12!!!!! I think I deserve a round of applause (and perhaps to be shot aswell), I’ve had to rewrite this at least twice, having had a stolen laptop and a broken laptop since chapter 11 was posted out to you!

Good news is that I’m on holiday and you can honestly trust me this time that the next chapter should be up by the end of August!

Please review if you hadn’t given up on me completely; I will love you forever!

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** 12: Birthday Wishes **

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Dear Lily,

How is it being back at home?  I hope everything is okay with your mum; send her my love. Has Petunia been keeping away? She’d better be or she’ll have me to answer to!

Sirius and I have been very busy since I last saw you; my parents made us get jobs at the ministry for the last weeks of the holidays. Apparently it’s supposed to help us mature! Although I fear that the endless filing that has become my life is dematuring my brain more than anything else!

Anyway, Lily, you must let me know if you need anything; you know I’ve always got time for you. I hope to see you soon.

With Love,

James

\---

James,

Your handwriting is appalling! Has the filing made it worse or has it always been that bad?! Glad to hear that you’re having a taste of the real world though – it’s a hard life!

Mum and I are both doing fine, thank you; no need to worry! Mum keeps talking about you actually; I think you’ve really charmed this one, Potter … do you go in for the older woman?

No, Petunia isn’t around a great deal, so I don’t think I’ll be needing your services!

Can you not get any time off work then? It’s actually physically paining me to say this, but my mum wants you to come over for my birthday tea next Tuesday.

Love from,

Lily

\---

Dear Lily,

You know I love your mum, Lily; her and I have got a real rapport going on … but do _you_ want me to come?

With love,

James

\---

James,

Of course I want you to come; what are you going on about? I just want to keep my mother away from you!

Lily

\---

Lily,

Are you jealous?

James

\---

You are absolutely off your rocker James Potter!! Are you coming round next Tuesday at 5?

Lily

\---

Lily,

I will pick you up at 12 noon on Tuesday; wear something comfortable.

James

P.S. You are _so _ jealous.

~*~~*~*~*~

Lily snorted as she read the last line of James’s letter. Then, brushing her hair off her face, she frowned at the letter as if hoping for clues. 12 noon on Tuesday? Where on earth was he taking her? _Typical Potter,_ she thought, irritated, ordering me about and being vague.

“Everything okay, Lily?” Called her mother from her seat on the patio.

“Fine, Mum.” Lily replied, and moved out to join her mum, tying her hair up off her sticky neck as she did so.

“Who were the letters from?”

“James.” Lily replied absentmindedly as she sat down in the shade and began fanning herself.

Lily’s mum smiled knowledgably and winked at her.

Lily raised her eyebrows, “What?”

“Nothing.”

Lily’s mum continued to smile but Lily ignored her, “He says he’s going to pick me up at 12 on my birthday but won’t say where he’s taking me. What do you make of that?”

“Sounds terribly romantic, dear.”

“ _Mum!”_

“Well, I’m sorry Lily, but it does!”

Lily wriggled uncomfortably in her chair, “We’re just friends, mum, you know that.”

“Yes … but is that what you want?”

“I don’t … we’re not … I’m not having this conversation with you!”

“Alright love.” Said Lily’s  mum placating, lifting a magazine slightly to cover her smile.

A silence fell between them and Lily, reaching for one of her mum’s magazines, began to idly flick through the pages. Her thoughts were on James but she gave herself a little mental shake and forced herself to think about something else. She focused her eyes and found herself looking intently at a furniture set. Blowing air over her face frustratedly in an effort to cool herself, she began turning the pages again but slowed to a stop as she found her thoughts wandering in a direction that they hadn’t for several days now…she stopped mid page turn… _who attacked them…?_

“Mum,” She started slowly with a frown on her face, continuing after an affirmative noise, “I’ve been thinking…”

“About what, love?”

“Well, it’s just… when you a-…when you were attacked…” She trailed off and looked at her mum who had put her magazine down, “Did you know that is wasn’t… the type of people it normally is?”

“I’m not following you, Lily.”

Lily bit her lip, wondering how best to explain the situation to her mother. She almost began to explain about the magical law system but stopped herself and decided to just take a deep breath and just go  for the direct route.

“Mum, do you know any wizards?” She blurted, “Other than me, obviously.”

“What?” Her mother responded quickly, “Of course I don’t; you know that.”

“Well yeah, but… the whole situation is just strange.”

“Some things just are, Lily.” Said her mother, with the air of someone closing a conversation, “I invited Petunia over for your birthday by the way.”

“Huh?” Said Lily, who had been deep in thought.”

“Your birthday, Lily! I said I’ve invited Petunia.”

“Are you crazy, mum? Do you really think she’d want to come?”

Lily’s mother ran a weary hand through her hair, “I just wish the pair of you would get along.”

“I know mum, I know.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lily opened her eyes slowly, smiling at the gorgeous sunlight filtering in through her curtains and basking in the fact that she was seventeen and could, therefore, finally perfrom magic outside of school.

Now grinning broadly, she sat up and stretched luxuriously before reaching for her wand and summoning her hair brush – just because she could.

She then dressed, aided greatly by her wand, and proceeded to make a delicous breakfast for her and her mum.

“Oh, Lily!” Exclaimed her mum as she entered the kitchen, “ _I’m_ supposed to be the one making breakfast on your birthday.”

“It doesn’t matter, mum.” Lily smiled and waved her wand, “I can use this  now remember?”

Her mum gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, “Happy birthday sweetheart.”

“Thanks, mum.” 

~*~*~*~

“Look who’s here, Lily.”

Lily looked up from her book to see James standing next to her mother in the doorway.

“James!” She exclaimed, jumping up and throwing her arms around him in a tight hug.

James chuckled and Lily felt it reverberate through her, “Hello, Lily. Happy birthday.”

Lily let go of him and felt herself blush slightly at her enthusiasm, “Thanks.”

“Missed me?” He asked grinning cheekily.

Lily swotted his arm, “You wish, Potter.”

James moved his arm out of harms way and draped it over her shoulder, giving her a quick squeeze. “Well I missed you.”

Lily met his eyes and felt her blush deepen all of a sudden and was very grateful for the reappearance of her mother with a drink for them both. 

“Thanks very much, Mrs Evans.” Said James, accepting his lemonade with a smile, “How are you?”

“Oh, I’m okay, James.” Lily’s mother beamed back at him, “Are you well?”

“Fantastic.”

Lily reached over for her drink, hissing in her mother’s ear for her to behave herself.

“So, where are you two going today then?”

“Oh, that’s a surprise, Mrs Evans.” Said James with a wink.

“Oh, how exciting!” Said Lily’s mother, grinning at her.

“Very.” Agreed Lily, trying to glare at her mother without James noticing, “Don’t we have to go soon, James?”

James smiled at Lily and glances at his watch, “Actually we should get going really. We’ll be back later, Mrs Evans.”

“Okay, love. You two go and have a good day.”

“Thanks, mum.” Said Lily as they passed her on their way out.

“James!” Lily admonished as they left the house, “Stop encouraging my mother!”

“What?” He replied innocently, “I can’t help it if she loves me.”

Lily rolled her eyes, “Do you actually know where we’re going?”

“Sure I do.”

“But why are we walking? We could have apparated from my house.”

“We’re not apparating that’s why.”

“Intruiging.” Lily frowned at him, “So where are we walking to?”

“Muggle train station.”

Lily laughed, “Do you even know how to use the muggle trains?”

“Lily! You’ve got so little faith in me!”

“You’ve never given me any reason to have faith in you.”

 There was a silence and Lily stopped when she realised James was no longer beside her. She turned to find him standing a few steps behind her, staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face.

“What?” She said, frowning. Then when he didn’t say anything; “Why are you looking at me like that?”

James let out a barely audible sigh and walked to catch Lily up before replying.

“Has your opinion of me really not changed?” He asked her, quietly and seriously.

“James…” She replied hesitantly, “It was just a bit of banter.”

James looked entirely unconvinced. “It didn’t sound like it.” He paused, “Lily… what’s the point in this – us being friends, if you still think of me as an idiot?”

Lily’s eyes went wide and she suddenly felt terribly guilty for the offhand comment she’d made. She put her hand on his arm placatingly, “I’m sorry, James, I really am. I didn’t mean it…” she trailed off as James’s eyes found hers and she suddenly found it extremely difficult to verbalise her thoughts.

“Am I overreacting?” James said softly, still holding Lily captive with his eyes.

Lily’s breath caught in her throat and she silently berrated herself for losing all coherant thoughts when in such close proximity with James. 

“Yeah.” She managed, “You are.”

James’s lips twitched upwards in a smile and Lily couldn’t help but mirror his expression.

She tore her eyes away and linked her arm though his, giving him a little tug, “Come on, James. It’s my birthday – you can’t be mad at me on my birthday!”

James let out a little laugh and began leading her on, “I’m not mad at you.” He glanced at her sideways, “I couldn’t be mad at you anyway.”

“Really?” Said Lily in a teasing voice, “What if I stole your broomstick?”

“You would never do that.” Said James confidently.

Lily smirked and purposely changed the topic, “We’re at the train station, James.”

“I have noticed,” He replied, leading her inside and towards the platforms.

“We have to get tickets, James!” Lily said exasperatedly.

James winked at her, “Already got them.”

“Impressive, Potter.”

“Thank you.” James gave a little mock bow causing Lily to laugh.

“Ooh,” She said as their train pulled in, “Are we going to Brighton?”

“Such a clever girl.” Sang James as he ushered her onto the train ahead of him.

~*~*~*~

“Mmm, this ice-cream is _so_ nice.” Enthused Lily as she and James sat in a little ice-cream parlour on the sea front.

They had spent a manic day messing about on the beach and wandering around the town before stopping for an ice-cream; watching all the families on the beach hurridly packing up their posessions as the tide crept up the sand, sneakily wetting their towels.

James smiled, “I came here when I was a kid – I was hoping it was still around.”

“You did?” Said Lily, surprised – pausing with a spoon halfway to her mouth.

“My parents were very big on introducing me to muggle stuff when I was younger.” James explained.

“I didn’t know that.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” Said James with a wink.

Lily snorted and flicked some ice-cream at him.

“Oi! If you keep throwing ice-cream at me then I won’t give you your present.”

“You got me a present? You didn’t have to do that, James.”

“Of course I did, it’s your birthday!”

Lily smiled at her ice-cream, “Alright then.”

James pushed a wrapped box across the table, “Here, you can open it now.”

Lily opened the box and gaped slightly at the beautiful silver necklace encrusted  with a small bright emerald stone and matching earrings. She lifted the necklace and it glinted in the late afternoon sunlight.

“James… it’s beautiful.” She said in a slightly hushed voice and lifted her head to meet James’s eyes; he smiled at her. “It must have cost you a fortune.”

“You deserve it.”

Lily felt the heat rise to her cheeks and she averted her eyes, feeling embarrassed. 

“Let me put it on.” Said James, and he reached around her to clip the necklace in place.

Lily turned her head and found James’s face very close to her own.

“Suits you.” He whispered.

“Thank you.” She whispered back, feeling her cheeks going redder.

“We’re closing up, kids.” Called the café owner causing both Lily and James to jump and move apart from each other.

“Um,” Said Lily and she looked at her watch, “We need to go anyway or we’ll be late for my mum.”

“Oh yeah, okay.” James replied slightly distractedly. He got to his feet and looked at Lily, “Have you, er, got everything?”

“Uh huh.”

James looked at his watch too, “Damn!”

“What?”

James turned to Lily with a sheepish look on his face, “I sort of lost track of the time… looks like we missed the train …”

Lily smiled then started laughing and immediately felt like it broke the tension in the air as James grinned back at her.

“I knew it was too good to last.” She teased, “we’ll have to, you-know… come on.”

“Yes ma-am.” Said James, following her out of the café.

~*~~*~~*~

Lily picked at her cake distractedly as her mum chatted animatedly to James. She couldn’t quite figure out what was going on between her and James; they had had such a laugh during the day, he had a way of making her forget about everything else … and she had felt so relaxed around him. Had, it seemed, because ever since that moment in the café when he had given her her present, she felt as tense as a bow string.

James brushed her arm as he reached for his drink and Lily almost shivered; _what the hell is wrong with me?!_ She thought furiously. There was definitely a moment in the café she decided, a look in his eyes that she couldn’t quite identify … and then when they’d apparated, he’d grabbed her hand and she felt a tingling where his fingers had touched hers. But, she thought decidedly, there was no way he had been about to kiss her … right?

“Lily!”

Lily looked up and saw both James and her mum looking at her questioningly. She flushed and put her fork down, “Sorry, what?”

James grinned and her mother replied with a laugh, “I was only asking if you liked the cake – because you didn’t seem very interested in it.”

“Oh. No, I mean yeah, it’s nice cake.” She picked up her fork again and shoveled some in her mouth, “Yum.” She managed.

James snorted and Lily swallowed her cake before glaring, “Don’t laugh at me, Potter.”

James held up his hands in defence and continued to smile at her in the way that was beginning to make her stomach churn. She looked away from him hurridly.

“I liked the cake, Mrs Evans.” Said James, turning his charm on her mother.

“Good, you can have another slice.” Lily’s mum beamed at him.

“Thanks, Mrs Evans but I’m afraid I’m going to have to go.”

Lily lifted her head and found James looking at her, “Oh.” She said. _Dammit Evans,_ she told herself furiously, _couldn’t you come up with anything else to say?!_

“Yeah, sorry… I promised my parents I’d be home by eight.”

“Oh no, it’s okay.” Said Lily, finding her voice, “You’ve been here ages.”

“Thanks for the cake, Mrs Evans.” Said James as he stood up.

“My pleasure dear,” Lily’s mum replied, “You take care of yourself now.”

“I will.” Said James.

“I’ll see you out.” Lily murmered, standing aswell and walking out into the hall with him.

“I swear your mum gets more charming every time I see her.” James winked as they stopped by the door.

Lily smiled, “Don’t start that again.” She paused and fingered her necklace unconcsiously, “Thanks for today, James.” She said quietly.

“You’re welcome.” He replied and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

Lily responded to his embrace and pressed her face into his shoulder, suddenly and inexplicably fighting back tears.

“You okay?” James whispered after a moment.

Lily lifted her head and nodded, “Yeah, sorry … it’s just, you know …” She trailed off but James nodded and gazed into her eyes with a tender expression on his face. He knew how much she was missing her dad, even if she didn’t say it.

James reached out and pushed some of her hair out of her face and Lily felt paralysed, her breath caught in her throat and she couldn’t tear her eyes away from James’s as he bent his head and gently brushed his lips with hers. His lips felt soft against hers and she felt herself respond slowly to his kiss for several seconds until she felt something inside her snap and she pulled away from him, averting her eyes.

“Lily …”

She ran a hand through her hair out of nervous habit, “Aren’t you going to be late for your parents?”

“It’s okay.” James said softly, “I really think –“

“You should go.” Interrupted Lily, focusing on the wall to the left of James’s head.

“Lily, I-“

“Just go, James.” She whispered to her feet and didn’t look up until she heard the pop that meant he had disapparated.

She took a shaky breath and leant back against the wall with her eyes closed, trying to understand what had just happened…

            


	13. Discoveries and Apologies

A/N: Okay, so not the end of August… but significantly better than last time, yes?

I’m still not entirely sure what I think about this chapter, but it’s been sitting on my computer driving me mad for days so I’m just posting it out to you now and you can tell me what you think!

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** **

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** 13: Discoveries and Apologies **

** **

Lily picked at her breakfast absent-mindedly as her mum pottered around her tidying up. It had been five days since her birthday and she had neither seen nor heard from James since. She couldn’t sort out the conflicting emotions in her head; while really missing him she was also dreading the next time they would meet because she had absolutely no idea what to say to him. 

If she was honest with herself then she should have seen it coming… that flicker in his eyes whenever he looked at her … the way he held her when she was upset … but she couldn’t work out how she felt. She couldn’t deny that she had felt something when he kissed her … but it was all too much for her to deal with at the moment. She had almost failed her apparition test the previous day because every time she tried to concentrate she kept seeing his face …

In a desperate attempt to distract herself from trying to decipher her feelings, Lily cast her mind mind around for something else to think about. She looked up at her mum and watched her absent mindedly for a moment as she donned a pair of rubber gloves and began to wash up. Lily began to frown … as she looked at her mum something came to the forefront of her mind; the conversation she had had with her before her birthday … about the day her parents had been attacked. The way she had answered Lily’s questions had been slightly too rapid; and there had been a look on her face, a look that Lily, preoccupied with her musings about James, hadn’t dwelled on.

There was something her mum wasn’t telling her. 

“Lily, I hope you haven’t forgotten that I’m going over to Petunia’s in a minute?” Her mum’s voice cut into her thoughts making her jump slightly.

Her mum was standing directly in front of her, looking mildly amused at Lily’s semi-dream like state.

“Oh.” She replied, already feeling guilty about her thoughts, “No, no I hadn’t forgotten.”

“Are you sure you don’t mind that I’m leaving you?” Her mum asked, looking slightly worried.

“It’s fine, mum.” Lily asured her, smiling, “You go, I’ll be alright.”  _ And while you’re gone I can do a bit of snooping… _

_ _

“You could always see James while I’m gone couldn’t you?” Her mum suggested.

_ Dear Merlin!  _ Lily thought desperately,  _ Stop talking about him! _

“Yeah, maybe.” She replied evasively, “Is Petunia picking you up?” She asked, purposely changing the topic.

“Yes, she should be here –“ She was interrupted by a horn beeping outside.

“Now?” Said Lily with a grin.

“I’ll see you later, love.” Her mum said, swooping down on her to give her a quick kiss on the cheek before heading out of the door.

Lily sat still for a moment, basking in the complete silence in the house and once again trying to force James’s face out of her mind. She put her face in her hands and it was like James had been imprinted onto the back of her eyelids …the utter dejection that had been displayed on his face after she had told him to leave … the way he had said her name…

“Argh!” She said out loud and sprang up from her seat, determined to keep her thoughts away from James Potter and if that meant some foraging through her mum’s things then so be it.

_ _

Lily made her way up the stairs and pushed the door to her mum’s bedroom open cautiously. Even though she knew her mother wasn’t in the house, she still felt her heart pounding in her chest as she stepped into the room. She felt guilty snooping through her mother’s things but she knew that if there was something going on then she needed to get to the bottom of it.

After a fruitless search, Lily sat down on the bed and scratched her head absent mindedly. She had been so  _ sure  _ that her mother had been hiding something from here … was she inventing signs? Was she so desperate to have something to distract her thoughts from …

Lily paused mid- thought and stood up slowly, having spotted what looked like a small square shaped piece of cardboard wedged into the top and the back of the wardrobe. Surely it was nothing; but  _ something  _ in her head told her to see what it was, so she reached for her wand and quickly summoned the object. She turned it over in her hands and lightly blew at the layer of dust. Seeing that it was an old photograph, she made to put it back where she found it when a flicker caught her eye. 

She sat down heavily on the bed; the picture was  _ moving.  _ Upon closer inspection she had a bigger shock when she recognised that the woman in the photo was a younger version of her mother.

Lily watched the photo, her eyes wide and her mouth slightly open. There were only two people in the picture; her mother and a man she did not recognise. They stood arm-in-arm, beaming and occassionally spinning around in each others arms.

_________________

“Oh, Lily, your school letter’s come.” Said her mum as Lily wandered into the kitchen in her pyjamas, looking slightly disheveled.

“Oh, okay.” Said Lily, reaching for the envelope as she sat down at the table.

“I’ve made a pot of tea if you want one?” Her mother asked as Lily slit open the envelope and tipped the contents out onto the table. 

“Yeah, that would be great – oh my God!”

“What?” Her mother asked sharply.

“I’m Head Girl… they made me Head Girl!” Lily showed her mother the badge, her cheeks flushed with pleasure, she suddenly seemed a great deal more awake.

“Oh, Lily, that’s fantastic!” Her mother engulfed her in a huge hug, nearly squeezing the air out of Lily’s lungs.

“Your dad would be so proud.” She whispered as she released Lily.

Lily smiled and kissed her mum on the cheek, “Thanks.”

“Let’s have that cup of tea now.” Her mum said with a little sniff.

Lily nodded and accepted her mug with a small smile. She desperately wanted to question her mum about what she had found yesterday but decided now was not the time as she noticed unshed tears glistening in her mum’s eyes.

“So, I think I’ll go and get my books and things today now that my list has come.” She said, gesturing to her book list lying on the table, “Are you going to be okay if I go?”

“Of course I will, sweetheart! You go ahead – are you meeting James?”

Lily choked slightly on her tea, “Oh, er, no … no – not.”

“Oh, okay. Is he working?”

“Oh yeah, yeah. Working.” Lily managed, mentally hitting herself over the head for getting so tongue-tied over the _mention_ of James.

_____________________

Lily shook her head slightly as she apparated into Diagon Alley – that was some sensation she was sure she would never get used to.

She began her shopping, methodically moving down her list and suddenly feeling very alone. She had seen a few of her fellow class mates but it wasn’t the same as coming with her friends like she’d done every year since second year.

She sighed slightly as she exited Flourish and Blotts without looking and as a result walked head long into someone. She dopped her bag and cursed under her breath.

“I’m sorry.” She said as she gathered her books together and stood up,”I-“ She froze as she met the eyes of the person standing in front of her.

“Sirius.” She gasped, “Hi.”

She felt her heart beat faster, if Sirius was here, did that mean…?

“Lily.” He responded after a moment, “What are you doing?”

“Erm – shopping.” She replied and held up her bags.

“No, I meant –“ Sirius stopped himself and stared at her with the same unreadable expression she had seen on James’s face a few times, “You know what –“ He started, then stopped himself again and shook his head at her before turning and walking away.

Lily frowned at Sirius’s retreating back, then turned herself and began to walk in the opposite direction. _What on Earth?_ Suddenly she was stopped by a hand on her arm. She turned to find that Sirius had come back.

“I wasn’t going to do this, Lily, but I can’t leave it alone.” He stated and pulled her away from the crowds.

“What –“

“James.” Said Sirius, “Do you know what he’s been doing since your birthday?”

Lily shook her head, suddenly feeling very nervous.

“Nothing. That’s what, absolutely nothing. He hasn’t left the house, he’s just been lying around moping.”

Lily felt extreme guily crashing down on her… she’d been cruel. She bit her lip and didn’t say anything.

“How could you be so cruel?” Sirius continued and Lily’s eyes widened, “The two of you kissed and then you just chuck him out of your life!”

“He _told_ you?” Said Lily, finding her voice.

“Of course he told me – we’re best mates, we tell each other things so don’t go getting all defensive.”

Lily swallowed, Sirius seemed to be having trouble containing his anger.

“I didn’t mean to –“ She began, “I never wanted to… to-“

“To what, Lily?” Surely you must know how long he’s liked you – he would do anything for you.”

“I didn’t know, didn’t realise he liked me like that…” She managed.

Sirius scoffed, “You must be blind or stupid then, Lily, for Merlin’s sake!” He exclaimed and blew some air out in a huff, looking extremely fustrated. 

“I was going to speak to him.” She said quietly after a moment, not quite able to determine if that was a lie or not.

Sirius just looked at her for a second before responding, “Whatever. Look, that’s your decision – I’ve already said far too much … I’ll see you at school.” He said with an air of finality, turning his back on her and walking away before she could utter a single word in response. 

_________________________

_ I have to talk to him.  _ She told herself sternly, all the while feeling the complete unwillingness of her legs to co-operate with her brain.

She stood stock still, staring at James’s house for several more minutes before she could pluck up the courage to move. Taking deep, calming breaths she purposfully strode up the driveway, hoping that no one had been watching her from the windows.

She reached out a shaking hand and knocked on the front door three times. Hard. Stepping back slightly, she waited anxiously, figeting a little with her hands. After a short wait the door opened little more than a crack and a face peered out.

“Lily!” Mrs Potter exclaimed and opened the door wide, “It’s lovely to see you dear, do come in.”

Lily smiled at the welcome and stepped inside the house, “Thanks.”

“We’ve missed having you around you know, James has been awfully quiet.” Mrs Potter commented.

Lily fely herself flush slightly, “Really? Um, I actually came to see James … is he in?”

“Oh yes, dear, I think he’s up in his room. Why don’t you go on up?”

“Thanks.” Lily replied, smiling at Mrs Potter before heading up the stairs towards James’s room.

She paused outside his shut door for a second, swalling the large dry lump that had suddenly appeared in her throat, before knocking gently.

She was rewarded by hearing James’s muffled voice shout out to her, “Go away, mum.”

She winced, “Er – it’s Lily.” She called back hesitantly.

The door was instantly thrown open and Lily found herself face to face with James. He was staring at her with that unreadable expression on his face and Lily felt the lump in her throat grow larger.

“Hi.” She said quietly.

“What are you doing here?” He shot out, surprising Lily with the slightly hostile tone to his voice.

“Um, I, er – wanted to … _need to_ talk to you.” She stumbled slightly over her words and when James gave no immediate reply and added, “Can I come in?”

James gave a small sigh but stepped aside, allowing her to enter his room before shutting the door behind her. Lily stood awkwardly as James flopped down onto his bed and watched her as she twisted her fingers together.

“What did you want to say, Lily?” James asked her quietly after a moment of silence had elapsed between the two of them.

Lily took the return of the softness in his voice as an invitation and hesitantly made her way to perch on the edge of the bed next to him. 

“Look, James…” She started, before trailing off and biting her lip, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“And it’s taken you over a week to say that?” James replied frustratedly, “What do you even mean anyway?”

“I mean what I said,” She said slowly, “I’m really sorry for the way I acted… and I’m sorry that it’s taken me this long to speak to you.”

James ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it up, “So … what now?” He asked her very quietly.

James’s eyes caught hers and she felt paralysed in his stare once again. Her heart began to beat faster as she panicked, _I can’t do this,_ she thought desperately, _I can’t deal with this!_ She felt her face heat up under his gaze and knew she had to say something, anything, before she did something really stupid…

“I can’t.” She blurted out loudly before covering her mouth with her hand, looking horrified that she’d just almost shouted in James’s face. “I’m sorry,” She said again, “I just – I mean … this is all a bit…” she whispered, unable to finish.

“Lily.” James said soothingly, reaching out and taking her hand in his, he squeezed it gently and didn’t let go.

Lily took a deep breath and let him hold her hand, it seemed like any part of him that had been mad at her had disappeared.

“I don’t want to lose your friendship, James.” She said quietly after a moment.

“You won’t.” He promised, “I’m always here, remember?” He gave her a lopsided smile and she smiled weakly in return.

Suddenly she heard Sirius’s words echo through her head _‘You must know how long he’s liked you… he’d do anything for you…’_

She suddenly felt awkward under his gaze and hoped and prayed she wasn’t hurting him. James tugged on her hand and pulled her closer to him.

“Come here.” He said and gathered her up into his arms, tucking her head in under his chin and holding her tightly.

Lily let out a breath she hadn’t realised she was holding and felt herself relax as James held her. They sat like that for several minutes before Lily pulled away from him to look in his face.

“Are we okay?” She asked him.

“Of course we are.” He replied, as if the past week had never happened.

“Good.” She murmered and paused before adding, “I passed my appararition test.”

“Well done.” Said James, giving her a quick squeeze, “Although it was hardly doubtful after all the apparating I did with you.” He teased.

“Whatever, James.” Lily said with a smile, “Oh, there’s something else too.” She announced.

“What’s that?”

Lily rumaged in her pocket before pulling out the small badge that she had been carrying around the last couple of days. She presented it to James with a flourish and a shy smile.

He took it from her and peered at it, “Head Girl?” He said, raising his eyes to Lily, she nodded and he grinned, “Lily, that’s incredible – congratulations!” He exclaimed before grabbing her in a bear hug, making her laugh.

He released her and got up off the bed, “While we’re sharing news…” He began before summoning something from the other side of the room.

“That’s lazy.” Lily said, laughing.

James smirked at her and gave her what he had in his hand. Lily looked at it and gaped.

“Is this yours?!” She asked, astonished.

“It is.”

“You’re Head Boy?” 

“Yes.” James responded, now laughing at the expression on her face.

“Oh my God, that’s amazing!” Lily said, now beaming at him, “I’m so glad it’s you … I could have been stuck with a Slytherin.” She shuddered at the thought.

James chuckled, “You’re going to have to help me though; I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.” He frowned and Lily noticed genuine worry flit across his face.

“You’ll be fine.” Lily responded, “I’m sure the two of us can figure it out together.”

James smiled warmly at her and Lily felt herself flush under his gaze. She hated the way her feelings fluxuated so much around him. To keep her thoughts focused she resolved to tell James about what she had found a few days ago. She reached back into her pocket again and pulled out the slightly battered photograph. She smoothed it out and handed it to James.

“What’s this?” He asked, taking it off her.

“Have a look.” She responded.

James peered at the picture for a moment, frown lines creasing his brow, “Is that … that looks like your mum?” He said in disbelief.

“Exactly.” Lily said, “I found this in her room the other day, it was hidden at the top of her wardrobe, collecting dust … I _knew_ she was hiding something from me, I just knew it.”

James handed Lily back the photograph, “Lily, you don’t think … well, that this has anything to do with, you know … what happened?”

“I don’t know.” She whispered, staring thoughtfully back down at the photo, watching her mum and the unknown man twirl perpetually together into the sunset.


	14. Back to Hogwarts

** 14: Back to Hogwarts **

** **

“Lily, have you got everything?” Called her mother as Lily dashed around her in the kitchen, a piece of toast in her mouth and her wand tucked behind her ear.

Lily twirled on the spot, her robes swaying around her as she faced her mum, “Yeah ... “ She swallowed with some difficulty, “I think so.”

It was the first of September and despite looking forward to this day for weeks, Lily still wasn’t ready. She glanced up at the clock on the wall and nearly swore; it was already reading a quarter to eleven. 

“Damn, where’s my wand?!” She exclaimed, once again spinning on the spot.

Lily’s mother supressed a laugh, “It’s behind your ear.” She informed her daughter.

“Oh.” Lily stopped racing around the kitchen and reached up for her wand, flushing slightly.

Lily’s mother smiled and she raised her tea to her lips, drinking serenely as she watched her daughter.

Lily strode over to her trunk and non-verbally shrunk it to the size of a shoebox. With another flick she made it as light as a feather and effortlessly scooped it up into her arms. She glanced at the clock again; ten forty-eight.

“Mum I’m going to have to go.” She said, dashing back over to where her mum was sitting, “I’m supposed to get there early and see that everyone is on the train and I’m already late!” She rambled until her mum got up and gave her a tight hug.

“Good luck, sweetheart.” She said quietly.

“Thanks, mum.” Lily replied, breaking apart from her and holding her trunk close to her chest, “See you at Christmas, love you.”

“I love you too.” Her mum replied, and discreetly wiped a tear away as her daughter spun on the spot and disappeared into thin air.

\------------------------

Lily arrived on the platform with ten minutes to spare, she put her trunk down and returned it to its normal size before heading towards the gleaming scarlet train. She got no further than a few paces before she heard someone scream her name. Whirling around she tried to locate who was shouting but was caught unawares when she was nearly squashed in a group hug.

“Lily! We’ve missed you so much, you have no idea!” Squealed the girl closest to her, she had cropped blonde hair and sported a pair of glasses that were glinting in the morning sunlight.

“I think I have some idea, Jen.” Lily replied,grinning at her three best friends affectionately.

“Oh my God, what is  _ that?”  _ Cried the second girl, pointing in awe at the badge pinned to Lily’s robes.

Lily smiled shly, “I’m Head Girl.”

“Lily, that’s fantastic!”

“Thanks, Clare.” Lily replied, ruffling the shorter girl’s dark brown hair with a grin.

“Oi!”

“You could have told us though Lily!” Remarked the final of Lily’s friends, trying to look reproachful.

“I wanted to tell you in person.” Lily defended. She paused and then admitted; “I’m really nervous … what if I mess it up?” 

“You won’t.” Said Hannah firmly, “You’re going to do an amazing job.”

“Oh, crap, that reminds me – I’m supposed to get ready for the prefects’ meeting! I’d better get on the train … I’ll come find you when I’m done, okay?”

“Okay.” The others replied simultaniously, making all four laugh.

Lily waved at them as she headed off through the steam towards the front of the train. As she approached the carriage door she noticed a familiar mop of untidy black hair, and it’s owner was facing away from her. She grinned to herself and tried to ignore the butterflies in her stomach as she crept up behind him and threw her arms around his neck.

“Boo.” She said into his ear.

James jumped violently and spun around with her arms still around him, “Oh, it’s you.” He said, somewhat with relief, “You scared the shit out of me!”

Lily laughed and removed her arms from around his neck,“You ready for this meeting?”

“Not in the slightest.” Said James and there was a definate inflection of fear in his voice which only made Lily smile more.

“Come on then, you big baby, we’d better get on the train before it leaves without us.”

“That would be a very good idea.” James replied, grinning down at her, “I’ll get your trunk.” He said, bending down to lift it.

“Wait – it’s –“ 

Lily stopped and put a hand over her mouth to stiffle her laughter. James had bent to lift her trunk, and not expecting it to be weightless, had tugged hard and fallen flat on his back with her trunk on top of him.

“- been charmed weightless.” She finished and giggled, unable to stop herself from laughing at the pure shock on his face.

She lifted her trunk off of him and placed it on the train before offering him her hand.

He took it and got to his feet, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. They got onto the train, hand in hand with Lily still laughing quietly, only seconds before the train emitted a high pitched whistle and pulled off from Kings Cross station.

Lily glanced side-ways at James once they reached the prefects’ compartment; he was still slightly flushed but she decided not to comment. She suddenly realised that they were still holding hands and it was her turn to flush as she quickly pulled her hand out of his grasp before pushing the compartment door open.

There were already a few nervous looking fifth year prefects sitting in the carriage as Lily and James made their way over to the opposite end where Lily had always seen the Head Boy and Girl sit.

“Lily, what do we say?” James hissed in her ear.

“Relax.” She said quietly, “We just tell them what’s expected of them, that’s all.” She picked up an envelope in front of her, “These must be the passwords to each of the houses.”

James was silent as they watched the rest of the prefects slowly fill the compartment. If she wasn’t so nervous herself she might have laughed at the expression on his face. 

Once every seat was taken, Lily swallowed hard and stood up with James. The chatter died away and Lily resolved to take the lead seeing as James didn’t really know what he was doing.

“Um, hi everyone.” She cleared her throat a little, “I’m Lily Evans, Head Girl.”

“And I’m James Potter, Head Boy.” James added. A few of the prefects smiled at him, including Remus who was sitting inconspicuously in the corner.

“This is just a brief meeting,” Lily continued, “To inform or remind you all of your duties as prefects.”

A low chatter started up and James gave them a brief glare, “If you keep talking we’ll be here all day.” He remarked but he said it in a way that made the prefects quieten down and listen.

“Right, so, your duties … we expect you to be keeping an eye on the younger students, the first years in particular, in case they need any help. The fifth year prefects usually escort the new first years up to their dorms so make sure you don’t leave them in the Great Hall.”

There was a small amount of laughter at this, as if the thought of first years being abandoned in the Great Hall was amusing.

“You will also all be required to patrol the halls in pairs after curfew at least once a fortnight.” Said Lily, she handed a piece of parchment and a quill to the girl seated on her right, “Pass this around please, and write down which evenings would be more convienient for you and James and I will do our best to accommodate you when we draw up the schedule.”

“Remember, you can take off house points for rule breaking but it has to be legitimate – we’ll be keeping an eye on you.” Said James, and Lily inwardly smiled, thankful that he had joined in instead of letting her do all the talking. “And for Merlin’s sake, make sure you follow the rules yourselves – you’re supposed to be setting an example.”

Lily almost snorted at this coming from James but she held herself back.

“That’s about it,” Said Lily, racking her brains to think if she’d forgotten anything, “Make sure you all come to us to get the passwords to your respective houses as we’re relying on you all to spread the word.”Lily picked up the envelope containing the passwords and held it for a moment.

“Anyone got any questions?” James asked. When the assembled prefects all muttered ‘no’ or shook their heads James added, “Okay, great, once you’ve all got your passwords you can go.”

There was a bit of a dash as all the prefects came to collect their passwords as soon as possible so they could get back to their friends. As all the prefects disappeared, Lily and James were left with Remus, who had evidently stayed behind to wait for his friend.

“Dear Merlin, that was horrific.” Remarked James once the room had cleared.

“I thought you guys did a great job.” Said Remus with a smile on his face.

“I was petrified.” Admitted Lily with a small laugh.

“You were brilliant, Lily.” Said James, turning to look at her, “You sounded really confident.”

“Thanks.” Lily replied, smiling at him, “Anyway, I’d better go and find my friends – I haven’t seen them all summer.”

“See you at the feast then, Lily.” Said James with a small wave.

“See you later, Lily.” Remus said.

“Bye.” She turned and flashed them a smile as she left the compartment.

\-----------

“You’d better get comfy, Lily.” Said Jen as Lily sat down with her friends.

“Why?”

“Why? She says!” Clare said exasperatedly.

“We need all the gossip from your summer of course!” Finished Hannah with a grin.

“Oh. Well, there’s not much to tell…”

“Oh come off it!” Clare exclaimed, “You’ve been staying with Potter for half of the holidays!”

“Well yeah … but it’s really not a big deal.” She protested weakly.

“What’s his house like, Lil?” Jen asked eagerly.

Lily laughed, “ _ Huge.  _ I was a little intimidated at first!”

“I thought he must live somewhere pretty impressive.” Mused Hannah, “I mean he’s from an old pureblood family and they’ve got  _ stacks  _ of cash.”

“I hadn’t even really thought about it before.” Lily admitted.

“More importantly,” Said Clare, “He was nice to you, yeah? ‘Cause I’m going to go and find him right now if he did anything to upset you.”

“Oh no,” Lily assured them quickly, “James has been really sweet the whole summer.”  _ Especially when he kissed me…. _

_ _

“ _ James  _ was sweet was he?” Hannah jumped in immediately, “Since when do you call him  _ James? _ ”

Lily felt her cheeks go red under their teasing smiles, “Oh you know, since the summer…” She answered feebly.

“She’s blushing!” Jen shrieked, “Lily, you’re blushing!”

“I am not!”

“You are!”

“Leave me alone.” Lily mumbled, putting her head in her hands, damn her ability to blush all the time!

All three of her friends were laughing as Lily hid her face in embarrassment.

“So, Lily, what did he do to get you to call him James … and get you to blush like that!”

“Nothing!” Said Lily, lifting her head, “Just drop it.”

Jen grinned at her, “You like him.” It wasn’t a question.

“No I don’t!”

“Sweetie, you’re bright red.”

“I don’t like him, okay? We’re just friends.”

The three girls exchanged a look but seemed to come to an unspoken agreement not to question Lily any more as they dropped the subject. 

“So … who’s Head Boy?” Hannah asked.

“James.” Lily muttered into her hand.

“What?”

“James is Head Boy.” Lily repeated, taking her hands away from her face.

“What?!”

“Seriously?”

“But – how?”

Lily couldn’t help but laugh as her three friends spoke over each other to voice their shock.

“I think he’s going to do a good job.” Lily commented thoughtfully, much to her friends amazement.

“Merlin’s beard, Lily…” Said Clare, shaking her head, “He must have made a really good impression on you this summer.”

“I would never have thought those words would come out of your mouth, Lily!” Added Jen with a little snort of laughter.

Lily offered a small smile and half-heartedly shrugged her shoulders, “He’s changed I think … he’s grown up.”

\---------

Lily and her friends sat down together at the Gryffindor table amidst loud and excited chatter from the students all around. People were coming up to Lily to congratulate her on becoming Head Girl and she was going rather red with all the attention.

“Everyone seems to think I’m going to do a brilliant job.” Lily whispered worridly to her friends.

“You’re the people’s choice, Lil.” Jen grinned at her.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” Hannah reassured her.

“Hello, Ladies. Mind if we join you?”

Lily jumped at the sound of Sirius’s voice and twisted her upper body to see all of the marauders standing behind her.

“Go ahead.” Invited Jen, waving at them from across the table.

Sirius grinned and he and Remus vaulted over the table, sitting down innocently next to Jen who shook her head silently.

“Hey.” Said James quietly, and Lily turned, realising that James had slipped into the seat on her right, with Peter on his other side.

“Hi.” She responded, smiling at him.

James looked like he was about to ask her something but stopped himself as the nervous line of first years began to filter into the Great Hall.

The seventh years remained quiet as they watched the sorting take place, cheering at the appropriate moments as a new student was sorted into Gryffindor (or in Sirius’s case standing up and wolf whistling loudly, causing the rest of the house to cringe). 

Lily had just finished clapping politely as the last first year was sorted into Hufflepuff, when Dumbledore stood and spoke briefly, primarily to announce the commencement of the start of term feast. A few students clapped again and Sirius cheered, earning a few scattered laughs.

“Thank,  _ Merlin.”  _ Sirius exclaimed, as he leaned over the table, reaching to pile a bit of everything onto his plate, “I’m  _ famished. _ ”

“You wouldn’t think so, considering the number of chocolate frogs you consumed on the train.” Remus responded dryly, while adding his own, significantly smaller, pile of food to his plate.

Sirius said something entirely incomprehensible with his mouth full of food and Lily screwed up her face in disgust.

“That’s something I didn’t want to see.”

Peter threw a carrot across the table at Sirius, hitting him square on the nose and commenting; “Even I’ve got better manners than you.”

Lily glanced at James, who was successfully ignoring his friends as he steadily ate his way through a huge pile of mashed potato, and snorted into her own dinner before looking up and catching Clare’s eye across the table; both girls grinned silently at each other at the Marauders eating habits.

As her friends began a light-hearted conversation, speculating on their timetables for the new term; Lily detached herself from the conversation and instead chose to watch Sirius  surreptitiously out of the corner of her eye. He was eating and laughing and seeming perfectly content with his present location. She chewed thoughtfully on her food and hoped that Sirius had forgiven her for treating James like dirt after her birthday. It was hard to forget the way he had looked so coldly at her that day in Diagon Alley and she hoped she would never find herself on the receiving end of that again.

“Oi, Lily! Are you going to join us in reality?” 

Lily jumped slightly and felt her cheeks tinge pink as everyone laughed at her; it seemed she had zoned out somewhat.

“Sorry – what are we talking about?”

She reached over James to pile some more potatoes on her plate and slowly joined in the conversation, feeling quite content.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lily was exhausted by the time she pushed open the door to her dormitory and stumbled inside. As Head Girl, she had lingered a little longer in the Great Hall to ensure no first years were left behind and again in the common room to chivvy everyone up to bed. She now looked across the room and spotted her three friends all sprawled on Hannah’s bed. She smiled and made her way over to join them.

“Hey, Lil. What took you so long?” Greeted Jen as Lily sat down.

“I was trying to get the sixth years to go up to their dorms.” Lily explained, rolling her eyes.

“Did they listen?” Snorted Hannah.

“Sort of … well a couple of them went upstairs but then I just gave up.” She sighed, “I’m just not cut out for this Head Girl lark.”

“Aw, Lil.” Jen said, placing a comforting arm around Lily’s shoulders, “You’re going to do fine – we all have faith in you.”

Hannah and Clare nodded their agreement and Lily smiled at her friends.

“But, Lily …” Clare began hestitantly, “How are you doing? After everything that’s happened?”

Lily hesitated, her friends were watching her closely; it was clear that they had been waiting patiently to have this converstation with her.

“I’m … okay.” She finally replied with a small shrug. “I mean, I’m not  _ fine,  _ but I’m … you know; I’m getting on with it, I suppose.”

Clare reached over to hug her tightly, “We love you, Lily.” She said simply.

Lily found herself, ridiculously, holding back tears as she hugged her friend back just as tightly.

They went off to bed not long after, a resounding chorus of ‘night’s’ echoing around the room. Lily lay in her bed, staring at the canopy above her, cursing the fact that she now felt completely wide awake. After lying in the dark for a while, listening to the soft sounds of breathing coming from either side of her, she got up quietly, resigned to the fact that sleep was not going to come to her as easily as she thought it would.

She pulled on her dressing down and slippers before padding softly down the stairs towards the common room, thinking perhaps of curling up in a comfortable airmchair next to the fire.

She glanced around the common room as she silently slipped into it, and noticed with surprise that she wasn’t the only person with insomnia. She negotiated her way towards the fire where the only other occupant of the room sat; and plopped down next to him.

“Hey, Lily.” Said James softly, turning to look at her, “Can’t sleep?”

Lily shook her head, “Why are you up?”

James smiled at her, “Peter was snoring.”

Lily had the vague impression that he wasn’t being entirely truthful, but shook it off – choosing instead to stare thoughtfully into the dying embers of the fire.

They sat next to each other, shoulders just touching, in a comfortable silence for quite a while, each lost in their own thoughts – until James decided to voice a question that he had obviously been sitting on.

“Lily?” He said slowly, his voice sounding unnaturally loud after the silence.

“Mm?”

“Did you ever ask your mum about that photo?” He asked tentatively, scanning her face as he spoke.

“No.” Lily replied, turning to look at him properly, “I  _ wanted  _ to but …. there just never seemed to be the right time, you know?” James nodded, “It was going to be hard enough for her – me coming back to school; without accusing her of … things …” She trailed off and frowned.

“Have the aurors got any new leads?” James asked.

Lily shook her head, “It all seems to have come to nothing.” She paused and stared into the fire, looking thoughtful, “I wonder if anyone here would recognise the bloke in the picture.”

“I dunno, Lil.” James said doubtfully, “The photo is pretty old now, isn’t it?”

“Mmm.” Lily replied non-committal, still staring into the fire.

A silence fell between them but Lily couldn’t keep from thinking about the photograph … and the idea that someone at Hogwarts might know something.

“Let it alone, Lily.” James said quietly after a moment and Lily looked up to see him watching her closely, “You don’t know what sort of can of worms you might open up.”

“What?” Lily questioned, feeling slightly perturbed by how well he could tell what she was thinking.

“Think about it.” James explained, now looking at her imploringly, “ _ If _ , that photo has some link to what happened … well … is it really something you want to be showing off around Hogwarts? You could attract some …  _ unsavoury  _ attention.”

Lily blinked at him; he could have a point … but she didn’t feel completely dissuaded from the idea. The desire to discover the truth was currently overwhelming her and she knew she couldn’t rest while that photograph was stashed in her pocket, unexplained.

James was still watching her closely so she shrugged her shoulders slightly, “I suppose.”

“I –“ James started, cutting himself off and fidgeting with his hands slightly nervously before continuing, “Lily, you have to understand … I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want anything to happen to you because of all of this.” He finished rather more confidently than he started, never taking his eyes from hers.

Lily swallowed, her throat suddenly feeling lumpy and her heart beginning to race out of control at his words. She licked her lips unconsciously, thinking that this conversation was rapidly slipping into dangerous waters. She opened her mouth but couldn’t formulate words so she quickly closed it again and continued to stare at him.

James sighed lightly and Lily could feel his breath on her face; she silently berated herself for sitting almost on top of him. Now, facing each other, their faces were far too close for comfort. James shifted ever so slightly and Lily could see the firelight dancing in his glasses – it was hypnotic.

Her breathing hitched as James tentatively reached out and caressed her cheek with one hand while the other hand snuck into her lap as he silently entwined his fingers with hers. Seemingly emboldened by the fact that she had made no attempt to push him away, James leant forwards and rested his forehead against hers gently. 

Lily closed her eyes, unable to fight the sensations that were overtaking her body. Her heart was pounding so loudly in her chest that she was sure James would be able to hear it and her stomach was twisting in a funny, not-so-unpleasant sort of way. She suddenly found herself – quite out of nowhere – realising that she was desperately waiting for him to kiss her.

After several more seconds of non-movement from James, Lily came to the startling realisation that he  _ wasn’t  _ going to kiss her. And really, could she blame him after the way she had shot him down so harshly on her birthday?

With this thought in her mind and all of her sense gone out of the window, Lily pulled her forehead back from James’s. She almost _felt_ his disappointment, and desperate to reassure him, desperate to keep him from disentangling himself from her and leaving, she did the only thing that felt right at the time. She moved herself even closer to him and tentatively brushed her lips against his.

James didn’t respond immediately and Lily felt the heat rise in her cheeks. She made a half-hearted attempt to move back from him but almost at the same time James’s grip tightened on her hand and he pulled her lips right back onto his. He kissed her slowly, as if he was testing the waters, but as soon as he felt Lily respond he hastened to deepen the kiss. Soon, it felt as if they were both throwing all of their pent up frustration into it and the kisses became more desperate, more frantic. James moved both of his hands to cradle Lily’s face and run his hands through her long hair, while she hooked her arms around his neck and felt like she was holding on for dear life. 

After several minutes of frantic kissing, Lily felt like she could barely breathe, James leaving her only seconds between kisses to catch her breath before capturing her lips with his again. She pulled back reluctantly, gasping slightly and watching James with wide eyes.

“Lily …” He whispered, seemingly lost for words, one hand still entangled in her hair as he gazed at her.

Lily tried desperately to return her breathing to its normal rate, taking some satisfaction in the fact that James seemed just as disorientated as she did. 

“Lily,” He whispered again, once he had found his voice, “That was –“

“Long overdue?” She rasped out, surprising even herself at her sudden honesty. She blushed foolishly.

James grinned, “Well, I was going to say incredible but yours works as well.”

Lily couldn’t help but smile at the ridiculous grin adorning James’s face, “I’m going to go to bed.” She told him softly.

“Is your insomnia cured?” James teased.

Lily felt herself blush, if possible, even more. She ducked her head to avoid his gaze and heard him chuckle. James then entwined her hand back with his and stood up, pulling her up with him.

“Come on then, sleepy head.” He said, steering her towards the girls’ staircase.

They stopped at the foot of the stairs and Lily turned back to face him.

“Um. Goodnight, then.” 

“’Night, Lily.” James responded with a soft smile and before she could do anything he had ducked his head and stolen another small kiss. 

Lily stumbled up the stairs her mind whirling and her lips still tingling from James’s kisses. She discarded her dressing gown and slippers and snuggled under the covers of her warm bed; feeling a lot more inclined to sleep now than before. She closed her eyes and fell asleep almost immediately with a small smile on her face. 

** A/N: Hey guys, hope you enjoyed the chapter!! That ending actually wasn’t in my plan but it just sort of happened while I was writing! I’m glad it did though … I think it may have been dragged out a bit too long otherwise! I hope my characterisation of Lily’s friends was okay; I’m not quite satisfied with that bit but if I stare at it/ tweak it any more I may just go insane! **

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** So anyway, thanks for reading … now press that button and review! =D **


	15. Who Are You?

_ A/N: I am so excited to finally get this chapter out – it’s rather pathetic really. It’s been causing me so much trouble that I found myself doing my assignments instead of this when it’s usually the other way round! Anyway, if you’re reading this then thank you for coming back to the story! I’m going to work really hard on it this month because I’m desperate to get it finished (there are a few more chapters left). Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing and don’t forget to review this chapter – it’s very motivating! _

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** 15: Who Are You? **

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Lily awoke slowly, feeling sleep ebb away from her like grains of sand slipping through her fingers. She yawned widely and stretched out languorously beneath her covers, keeping her eyes firmly closed as she wished for a swift trip back to the land of dreams. She rolled onto her side and curled up into a ball, listening to the quiet sounds of her friends breathing (or snoring in Jen’s case) and felt a small smile gracing her face. Even though she was back at school and was facing impending NEWT exams, had about a million new responsibilities dumped on her as Head Girl – not to mention actual classes and homework … she – well she was glad to be back. Back in the magical world and back with her friends, whom she’d missed so much during the summer; leaving her to turn to … James!

Her eyes snapped open and she froze in her musings.  _ How  _ could she have forgotten about James! She had only fallen asleep last night replaying that kiss over and over in her mind, recalling the feeling of his lips on hers, his hands on her face, running through her hair …

_ Merlin, I’ve lost it!  _ She thought desperately to herself, as she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed,  _ what am I going to do!  _

She took a deep breath. Okay. It was not a big deal. So, yes, she may have kissed James Potter last night. And yes, she may have, sort-of-without-words told him she liked him (even though she hadn’t actually realised that was the case). But still – it wasn’t a big deal … right?

“Oh, Merlin, I need help,” she whispered to herself, slapping herself lightly on the forehead.

She glanced around the room at her sleeping friends. Advice. That’s what she could do with right about now. Her gaze fell on the gently snoring Jen and she got to her feet, crossing the room as quietly as she could.

Jen had always been the one Lily could go to for advice, ever since they were eleven years old and had met on the Hogwarts Express. She was fun loving and always made Lily see the funny side of things, while at the same time she could be serious when she needed to be, and always gave the best advice. It helped that she was muggle born like Lily; the two of them could often connect in a way that Clare and Hannah (both half-blood) could not.

Lily reached Jen’s bed and crawled on, pulling the hangings shut before she began poking her friend.

“Jen, Je-e-en,” she wheedled. “Come on, Jen, wake up.”

Jen stopped snoring with a splutter and Lily grinned. “Wassamatter?” she mumbled with her eyes still shut.

“Open your eyes,” Lily implored. “I need to talk to you.”

Jen groaned but opened her eyes, squinting groggily at Lily. “What do you want, Lil? This had better be good.”

“Someone’s grumpy this morning,” said Lily with a small laugh.

“Yeah, well it’s early.” Jen yawned and rubbed her eyes. “What time is it anyway?”

“Er – about half six, I think.”

“Oh,  _ Lily, _ ” said Jen despairingly, “you know I never wake up before at least half seven!”

Lily smiled, “I know, I’m sorry. But, like I said, I really need to talk to you about something.”

Jen pulled her covers up to her chin and yawned again. “What is it?”

“Er – well …” she paused, unsure of what exactly to say. “It’s James,” she finally settled on.

“What about him?” Jen asked, blinking at her.

“Ah – we sort of, kind of … maybe –“ she spluttered, leaving Jen to raise her eyebrows in confusion. “We – oh … we kissed. Last night.”

_ That  _ got Jen’s full attention. She sat up suddenly, her eyes round and sparkling.

“I knew it! I  _ knew  _ there was something going on between you two!”

“Well there wasn’t really, not before last night … well maybe there was – but it wasn’t, you know…” Lily muttered inarticulately.

“So?” Jen said impatiently, watching Lily fiddle with her hands.

“What?”

“What happened?! What did he say? Is he a good kisser?” Jen asked eagerly.

Lily found herself laughing a little at the look on Jen’s face but succumbed, telling her all about what had happened last night. She left out the conversation about the photograph, however. She hadn’t mentioned that to anyone, other than James, and when she told her friends she wanted to tell them all together.

“Wow,” said Jen, once Lily had finished her tale. “That’s  _ hot,  _ Lil.” She winked mischievously.

“ _ Jen! _ ” Lily hissed, feeling her cheeks burn, “I don’t need your opinion on whether it was … hot. Or not.”

Jen grinned wickedly at her, “I don’t have an opinion – I  _ know  _ it was hot. And so do you!”

“I need you to tell me what to  _ do!”  _ Lily wailed desperately, flapping her hands slightly and ignoring Jen’s comment.

“What to do?”

“Yes!”

“Well, that’s pretty obvious isn’t it?”

“Obviously not to me,” Lily shot back exasperatedly, “or I wouldn’t be in  _ turmoil  _ over here!”

Jen laughed, “I’ll tell you what to do,” she nodded very seriously and looked Lily in the eye. “Go downstairs, say ‘hullo, James’, then proceed to snog his face off. Good plan, yes?”

Lily whacked her friend in the arm, “I hate you.”

Jen’s response was to grin at her. “I know. But seriously, Lily – is it really that big of a deal? You like him, he  _ definitely  _ likes you … it’s all good from where I’m sitting.”

Lily frowned at Jen and bit her lip slightly. “I suppose,” she conceded quietly.

Jen slung an arm around Lily’s shoulders. “Thatta girl.”

“I’m scared, though,” Lily murmured.

“What?”

“I’m scared,” she admitted, clearing her throat softly. “Mine and James’s relationship has changed so rapidly over the last couple of months … I feel a little bit like it’s spiralling out of control …”

“James adores you, Lily,” Jen reassured her, “any fool can see that. I’m sure he wouldn’t push you into anything that you’re not ready for.”

“You’re probably right.”

“Yes, I am,” Jen reiterated. “So all you’ve got to do is  _ talk  _ to him … not that scary right?”

Lily shrugged. Jen was right; talking to James  _ wasn’t  _ scary.

“I’m making too big a deal out of this, aren’t I?” Lily said finally.

Jen smiled at her. “You’re just being Lily,” was her response. 

Lily frowned a little, unsure of how to take that nonchalant comment.

“Are you coming down to breakfast, then?” she asked.

Jen yawned. “Nah, there’s still a good half hour nap I can fit in before class, I reckon.”

Lily snorted. “Well don’t be late,” she warned, “I’m Head Girl, remember?”

“How could I forget?” Jen’s response came slightly muffled as she had already buried her head back in her pillow.

Lily rolled her eyes but left Jen in peace, picking her way back across the dormitory to get dressed and washed. Ten minutes later she gave up wondering if she would have any company at breakfast as her friends remained firmly asleep and instead headed down the staircase alone.

She was almost at the portrait when she heard someone shout her name. Whirling around, she felt a slight blush creep onto her cheeks as she saw James walking quickly towards her, sporting a wide grin.

“Morning,” he said as he reached her.

“Hi,” Lily replied stupidly, staring at him.  _ Get a grip Lily! _

“Going to breakfast?” James asked after a moment of silence.

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’m going to breakfast.”

James only continued to smile at her as they left the common room and began to walk down to the Great Hall together.

“You’re up early,” she commented after a moment, wishing for a conversation to take away some of the awkwardness she was feeling.

James pushed his glasses up his nose absently. “Er – a bit, I suppose,” he agreed. “I was hungry,” he added, as if to justify himself.

Lily felt like he wasn’t telling her the whole truth but didn’t comment. He hadn’t mentioned last night yet and Lily felt like she was about to explode.

“The other idiots not with you?”

“Lily, I resent your implication that I’m an idiot.” James informed her, his eyes sparkling.

“I’m not implying anything, James,” she paused before adding; “anyway, it’s the truth.”

She shrieked as James lunged, taking a mock swipe at her, “James!” she said, laughing. “Don’t!”

“Don’t what?” he asked innocently, grabbing her from behind and holding her to him firmly as he began tickling her.

Lily shrieked again, “s-stop it!” she gasped, unable to stop the laughter from spilling out of her mouth.

James paused and bent to whisper in her ear, “say that you don’t think I’m an idiot.”

“I don’t think you’re an idiot.” she responded breathlessly, feeling her heart pounding loudly in her chest as his warm breath fanned her neck.

“Good,” he breathed into her ear.

Before she could say anything else, she took a sharp intake of breath as she felt his lips against her ear, her jaw … and then he was kissing her neck sensuously. Lily closed her eyes and unconsciously leaned back into him as he tightened his grip on her. 

Then, before she even realised he had done it, he had turned her quickly around in his arms and had relocated his lips to hers. Lily sighed into his mouth and clung tightly around his neck as his lips moved deliciously against hers, throwing all coherent thoughts out of the window.

When they broke apart, James was smiling widely.

“Well. That was a good way to start the morning.”

Lily blushed, “James … I don’t – I don’t know …” she stuttered, frustrated with herself for being unable to articulate herself when he was looking at her like that.

“Lily,” he said, dropping his forehead to rest against hers, “I’m not going to ask you to be my girlfriend or anything yet. Not if you’re not ready.”

How was it that he could always tell what she was thinking?

“I don’t want it to be like I’m messing you around,” Lily whispered.

“It’s not, Lily. It’s fine,” James reassured her. “As long as I get to do this,” he kissed her softly, “every so often.”

Lily pulled away from him and saw that his eyes were twinkling.

“So, no pressure?” she questioned.

“No pressure.”

Lily smiled at him, “thanks.”

“No problem,” he replied as they began resuming their walk down to breakfast; a much happier Lily and a grinning James, who managed to leave his arm casually draped around Lily’s shoulders for the duration of the walk. 

\--------------------------------------------

Lily and James were halfway through their delicious cooked breakfasts when Lily’s friends deigned to join them.

“Hi Lily, hi James,” said Clare as the three of them slid onto the bench opposite.

“Morning girls.” Lily smiled and James mumbled his greeting through a mouthful of bacon.

Lily snorted. “Don’t mind him,” she said cheerfully.

Jen grinned at her and Lily hastily averted her eyes, coughing lightly and picking up her glass of pumpkin juice.

“Didn’t want to wait for us this morning, Lily?” asked Hannah as she reached across the table for some toast.

“Well I woke up early, so…”

“She obviously wanted to eat breakfast with James,” said Jen, causing James to smile into his plate and Lily to flush a delightful shade of pink.

She aimed a kick at Jen under the table which only resulted in the other girl laughing.

The rest of breakfast passed without incident and Lily was relieved that Jen kept her mouth shut in front of James. The girls excused themselves twenty minutes before classes started in order to head back up to the Tower first, where Lily and Jen had both left their bags. On their way up the staircase they passed the rest of the Marauders moving slowly towards the Great Hall.

“There’s no way they’ll eat and make it to class in time,” commented Hannah as the four girls walked quickly through the corridors.

“When do they ever make it to class on time?” said Clare, laughing.

The four girls made short work of the rest of the trip to the Tower, grabbed their bags and headed back down a few floors to the Charms classroom.

“Look at the timing on that!” announced Jen proudly as they turned the corner and joined the end of the line of students filing slowly into the classroom.

“Really great,” said Lily, leading the way to their usual seats half way back and rolling her eyes slightly at her friend. “I just know that the day’s going to go well now.”

“You might laugh, Lily,” replied Jen, sitting down and throwing her books haphazardly onto the desk, “but it’s all about starting the day positively.”

“Lily’s already started her day positively,” chimed in Clare, leaning over the desk on Jen’s left. “She looked pretty happy eating breakfast with  _ James. _ ”

Lily felt the heat rise on her cheeks and her embarrassment increased as James himself walked in, smiling in her direction. Her friends howled with laughter, only ceasing as Flitwick called for their attention.

Flitwick was settled into his lecture on the importance of their NEWT exams when Lily saw a piece of parchment pushed in front of her from Hannah’s direction. She pulled it to eye level, resigned to more teasing.

_ So come on; what  _ is  _ the deal with you and James? – H _

_ _

Lily rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair, refusing to reply. It was this defiant act that seemed to attract the attention of her other friends, who instantly pulled the parchment towards them to join in the conversation.

You’ve got to answer us, you can’t avoid us forever.– C

** Lily, you’re such a meany. – J **

Lily snorted at this and finally reached for her quill.

I’m not avoiding you and I’m not being a meany. – L

So?! What’s going on? 

_ You can’t say it’s nothing; we can tell there’s something. Plus he keeps staring at you. _

_ _

He is?

** He luuurves you. **

** **

I hate you, Jen.

** Love you too. **

** **

You’re blushing, Lily!

I am not!

_ Yes, you are. _

_ _

I thought you were all supposed to be my friends?

_ We are. _

_ _

That’s why you have to tell us everything.

** Tell them, Lil. **

** **

Thanks!

Jen knows? What is it Jen?

** Ha ha ha! **

** **

_ Jen? Lily?! _

_ _

Yes?

Oh, come on Lily; you have to fill us in!

_ Or Jen will tell us, won’t you? _

_ _

** Ha ha ha! **

** **

Oh … alright. But will you please keep schtum?

_ Cross my heart. _

_ _

Of course.

We kissed.

_ No way! _

_ _

Oh my God! When?

Last night… and this morning…

** This morning? Lily, you sly thing! **

** **

_ Are you guys together now then? _

_ _

Er… not exactly.

You don’t give yourself an easy life do you, Lily?

** What did he say when you talked to him, then? **

** **

_ Talked? Ha ha _

_ _

We did talk thank you, Hannah. We’re just going to sort of take things slowly, I think. I mean, we’re not a couple or anything, so …

** I always knew you two would get together. **

** **

Really?

_ I didn’t – I thought Lily might have offed him before seventh year to be honest. _

_ _

Ha ha, me too!

I just never gave him a chance before.

He did use to be a bit of a git though, to be honest.

True!

** He’s a nice guy now, though. **

** **

Yeah. He is.

\--------------------------

“Knock it off Clare!” Hannah shrieked as the four girls entered the common room after dinner.

Clare only laughed in response and tucked inside her robes, the plastic spider with which she had been tormenting Hannah for the duration of their walk.

“You’re such a baby, Hannah,” Jen giggled and threw an arm around her friend, which Hannah immediately knocked off with a huff.

“Stop teasing her,” said Lily, bringing up the rear and allowing the portrait to swing shut behind her. Jen and Clare grinned at her and Lily rolled her eyes.

As they walked across the common room Lily spotted a figure sitting alone by the fire that made her stop in her tracks.

She bit her lip nervously and made a quick decision.

“I’ll be up in a minute,” she called after her friends retreating backs. She got a few strange looks but they conceded, giving her little waves as they headed up the stairs towards their dormitory.

Lily stood for a moment and took a deep breath before making her way over to the comfortable chairs in front of the fire.

Sirius looked up in surprise as Lily hovered by his chair, shifting her feet nervously.

“Hi,” she said quietly. “Is it – do you mind if I sit?” She gestured at the chair beside his.

Sirius raised an eyebrow but consented; silently nodding his head and Lily perched on the chair, twisting her hands in her lap. She knew what she wanted to talk to him about, but had no idea how to say it.

“Is there something specific you wanted, Lily?” Sirius asked; his voice slightly dry and his expression unreadable.

“Er, yeah,” she began, wishing Sirius Black were an easier person to talk to, “I – well I wanted to talk about James actually.”

Sirius leaned back in his chair and seemed to be making himself comfortable. “Oh?”

“Yeah … and, um, what you said the other week – you know, in Diagon Alley-“

She was cut off by the abrupt sound of laughter. Looking up, she appraised Sirius with barely disguised astonishment; was he  _ laughing _ at her?

Noticing her expression, Sirius stopped laughing and sat forward, an amused smile still playing at his lips. “What’s this all about, Lily? Trying to check you’re not top of my hit list?”

He began laughing again, this time apparently at his own joke. Lily frowned at him, beginning to feel a twinge of annoyance.

“ _ No,”  _ she said, over his chuckles. “I just wanted to see that … find out if you’re…” she trailed off, frustrated at herself and annoyed at Sirius for laughing. “Oh, just shut up will you!” she snapped.

“You can sleep easy,” Sirius confirmed. “You’re not on Hogwarts most wanted list … at least not from my end anyway.”

“Oh,” Lily responded, feeling her ever red cheeks blossoming into action. “Well, I made up with James anyway, so –“

“Oh, I know.”

Sirius was grinning again and Lily’s blush deepened as she realised what that grin meant. “Honestly, you lot are worse than girls!” she exclaimed, “what do you do – have a pow wow every night before bed?”

“Ah, but of course. How else would we keep up with the intricate workings of each other’s lives?”

“You’re mental.”

Sirius only laughed in response as he stood up from his chair and stretched. “Oh, Lily, glad we cleared that up,” he chuckled, “must be off; nice talking to you!” 

He swept around her, ruffling her hair as he went, and began whistling loudly as he strode out of the common room.

Lily stared in his wake for a moment before shaking her head slightly and standing up herself.  _ Well _ , she thought as she meandered up the staircase to her dormitory,  _ at least I know he’s not bearing a grudge with me over James.  _

Lily pushed open the dormitory door and, deep in thought, walked straight into Jen who was teetering in  _ her _ high heeled boots.

“Lily!” cried Jen as she fell backwards and landed heavily on the floor. “Ow…”

“What are you  _ doing? _ ” Lily asked, watching as Jen pulled the boots off carefully and held them in front of her.

“You don’t like these, right?”

“Those are  _ my  _ boots, Jen!” Lily reached down and snatched said boots out of her friend’s hands.

“I know, but I thought you might let me have them,” was Jen’s response. She struggled to her feet and grinned at Lily.

“Why would I let you have them?”

“Well, you never wear them.”

“I do so wear them!” Lily cried indignantly, holding the boots to her chest protectively.

“You’re so stingy,” Jen announced dramatically and collapsed on her bed. 

Lily rolled her eyes and silently made her way over to her own bed, kicking her shoes off and shrugging her school robes off as she sat down. As she folded her robes her fingers brushed against a now-familiar old photograph sticking out of one of the pockets. She slipped it out and stared at it, smoothing her fingers along the creases in an attempt to make it easier to distinguish. She sighed quietly and blew a steady stream of air out of her mouth. She supposed now was as good a time as any to give her friends the full story of everything that had happened that summer.

“Girls?” she called out, causing her friends to all look over in her direction from their various positions in the room. “Could you … would you mind coming over here for a minute? There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

With a few sideways glances at each other, her friends joined Lily on her bed, looking an interesting mix of confused, intrigued and even slightly apprehensive.

Lily fingered the photograph in her hand nervously. “When I told you all about … about the attack on my parents and the summer … well, there’s something else that I haven’t told you about.”

“What?” probed Clare gently.

In response Lily held out the photograph and Clare took it with slightly wide eyes. “Well, it starts with this really…”

For the next half hour Lily found herself explaining the story (as far as she knew) behind the photograph and what the Aurors had told her about it not being a Death Eater attack. When she had finished her tale her friends were all looking suitably taken aback.

“Crikey, Lil,” whispered Hannah, “it wasn’t Death Eaters?”

“Apparently not, because there was no Dark Mark,” Lily replied.

“I had no idea,” chimed in Jen, “I just assumed it was … well like you did at first, I suppose. But why didn’t you tell us all this before?”

“I didn’t really want to go into detail in letters … can you understand?” Lily paused and watched her friends slightly worriedly, but when they all nodded their understanding she relaxed slightly. “I mean I wasn’t on my own with it all or anything; I had James to talk to.”

It was a mark of how shocked Jen was that she didn’t pick up on that comment to tease Lily and Lily bit her lip; she  _ desperately  _ wanted to ask her friends what they thought about the photograph.

“Have you shown James this picture then?” Clare asked, turning the photograph over in her hands.

“Oh, yeah … I mean, he was there and everything so …” she trailed off, suddenly feeling guilty that James knew all of this  _ ages _ before her best friends of six years.

“Lily, don’t worry about it,” Hannah said, putting a hand comfortingly on Lily’s arm. “We don’t blame you for talking to James about all this.”

The other two shook their heads in agreement and Clare handed Lily back the photograph silently.

Lily watched her mum and the unknown man dance for a few moments before she looked up at her friends imploringly. “Don’t suppose any of you know him then?”

Her friends looked back at her with equally confused expressions as they all expressed their lack of knowledge. Lily sighed, frustrated.

“Sorry, Lils,” Jen said, “but you don’t know it’s that important anyway, do you?”

Lily gaped.  _ Why  _ did no-one but her seem to realise that the man in this picture could be a vital clue in what happened?

“Jen’s right, Lily,” agreed Hannah, “that’s a really old photo and the attack only happened this summer.”

“And your mum’s never said anything to you about knowing a wizard,” Clare added with an air of finality.

Lily spluttered slightly. “But this is important! I  _ know  _ it is.”

“Honey, I think it’s best just to let this one lie. Leave the Aurors to do their job, yeah?”

Lily glared at Clare. “Have you and James been collaborating or something? Why does  _ no-one  _ think this is important?”

“James had the same reaction?” questioned Hannah.

Lily nodded reluctantly. “And some crap about getting mixed up in stuff I shouldn’t be getting mixed up with.”

“That’s a good point, Lil,” Jen said, “and besides, it’s unlikely you would find out who he is from that old photo.”

“If you really want to know who he is, just ask your mum,” Clare placated.

Lily shook her head, they didn’t understand. “I can’t. She’s been through so much … and it would seem like I was accusing her of … something…” not to mention the fact that it would reveal she had been snooping through her mother’s things without permission.

“There you go then,” Hannah said, sounding slightly relieved, “it seems like everything’s telling you to leave it well alone.”

Lily didn’t reply; she was getting sick of arguing about this with her friends. Plus, she knew she was right.  _ None _ of them (James included) knew what they were talking about. 

“You’re not mad at us are you?” Jen asked her anxiously.

Lily shook her head and her friends all looked relieved. They jumped off Lily’s bed and separated to different areas of the room, putting away clothes and books, chatting jovially all the while. 

Lily folded the photograph in her hands without looking at it and slipped it back into her pocket. She felt extremely frustrated at both her friends and James; none of them seemed to share her desire to find the truth. She watched absent minded as her friends tossed clothes and insults around with good humour. They didn’t have a care in the world, and now that they felt they had quashed Lily’s worries, they were back to laughing and joking – obviously expectant of Lily to join in.

She got to her feet slowly, still deep in thought, if nobody wanted to help her find out the story behind the photograph then she would find it out by herself.

“Where are you going, Lil?”

Lily span around on the spot; she had been walking towards the door without even realising it. She sent a weak half smile towards her confused friends and reached out a hand for the door knob.

“I’m going to the library for a bit – you know, get a head start on this work.”

Her friends seemed to accept this explanation and happily went back to larking around as Lily stepped out of the dormitory, shutting the door softly behind her. 

She was determined to find out who the man in the photograph was. And no-one was going to stop her. 


	16. Wooing

  


Hello. I’m not sure  
if anyone remembers me or this story after my ridiculously long and completely  
unplanned hiatus (oops). The only excuse I have is RL plain and simple and I  
hope anyone who still wants/wanted to read this story understands that. As for  
this, there is one, possibly two chapters to go and I’m working hard to get  
this wrapped up – I never intended to abandon it unfinished.

** **   


 

** **

** **

** 16: Wooing **

** **

The rain beat down relentlessly in sheets so thick that it cast a fake pre-dusk light around Hogwarts. Lengthy shadows crept in corners of the library and Lily looked up  
briefly as the librarian walked past her, lighting extra candles and muttering  
to herself all the while.

Lily grimaced and stretched out her arms and legs gingerly, wincing as one of her joints cracked with the sudden movement. A loud crash of thunder startled her and she was distracted for a moment as she looked out of the window. As jagged bolts of  
lightening tore periodically through the sky, the Forbidden Forest was lit up momentarily. Lily couldn’t help but shiver slightly; it somehow looked more menacing through the haze of rain and dark clouds.

She yawned behind her hand and turned her attention back to the multitude of dusty books piled upon the desk in front of her. It was late September and Lily had spent much of the last three weeks in a complete whirlwind. 

Following the reactions of both her friends and of James, she had resolved to continue hunting for the identity of the mystery man in the photograph alone. This was currently causing her a great deal of trouble, however, because in between  
classes, meals, homework and Head Girl duties, not to mention patrolling the  
corridors in the evenings with James, she found that the time that she had for  
herself was exceptionally limiting.

She was currently experiencing one of those very rare alone moments; it was early evening and, after a hasty dinner, Lily had managed to escape her friends’ clutches and find solitude in the library. She sighed lightly, flicking through a few more pages of the book in front of her before shutting it gently and leaning back in her chair. She had to admit, it had been an incredibly long shot but she had been searching among a book depicting past Head Boys of the school.

 

Unsurprisingly, mystery man hadn’t made an appearance. Lily felt frustration building in her again and she closed her eyes against the emotion. 

“What’re you up to?”

Lily’s eyes snapped open at that familiar voice and she sat straight up in her chair, glaring slightly at James who seemed to have managed to sneak up on her and was  
currently sitting opposite her.

“You nearly gave me a heart attack!” she admonished. 

James only grinned. “Sorry. Were you asleep? Work load getting to you?” he teased.

Lily huffed in response and made to tidy the old Head record away discreetly underneath her Potions textbook before James noticed.

“I was just finishing my Potions essay,” she lied, now shuffling around some more papers in an attempt to tidy the disarray.

James was watching her with amused eyes. “I never realised you were so _messy,_ Evans.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Lily replied distractedly, her head stuck partially in her bag; now actually _looking_ for the Potions essay… she could have sworn she had done it … “Ah ha!” She pulled it out of her bag triumphantly and metJames’s eye; suddenly blushing furiously at the laughter in his eyes. 

“Stop it,” she muttered, placing her essay on top of her mess. She looked up at him again, suddenly realising something. “I thought you had Quidditch practice tonight?”

James raised hiseyebrows and pointed at the window. Lily followed his gaze and watched asanother fork of lightening tore through the air, hitting the ground with a  
deafening crash. She jumped slightly.

She looked back across at James who seemed to be glaring at the weather.

“Didn’t want to take the team out in that,” he was telling her, “it would have been my fault if one of them was struck by lightening.” He grinned at her and Lily rolled her eyes.

“Whatever, Potter. I know it’s because you don’t want to mess your hair up.”

James laughed at that and lifted a hand to ruffle his already messy hair. 

“Are you done?” he asked, watching her as she began to put some of her work back into her bag. 

“Er-“ she paused and glanced at him. She could do with some more time alone for investigating but who says she would be able to shake James off? “Yeah I suppose.”

“Great,” said James grinning at her. Was that all that boy did? “Come on; let’s go back to the common room. I want to make the most of my evening off.” 

Lily assented, an evening off sounded nice … 

They stood up and James added; “plus, I’ve hardly seen you all day.” 

Lily blushed as he smiled at her and tried to cover it up by laughing. “Come on then.” 

“I’ll carry your bag,” he said, pulling it off her shoulder and swinging it onto his own before she could protest. 

They left the library, both sighing slightly in relief – they could talk normally again. 

“So chivalrous,” commented Lily with some mild sarcasm. 

“I try,” James said, throwing her a wink. 

They fell into a comfortable silence and James took the opportunity to slip his free arm around Lily’s waist and tug her closer to him. 

“James!” she exclaimed as she was tugged against his body. His hand, where it rested on her hip, was giving her tingles even through her robes. 

“Yes?” he questioned innocently, his eyes twinkling behind his glasses.

Lily couldn’t help herself, she giggled softly. 

“Something funny, Miss Evans?” 

James stopped their walk and was now gazing sternly at her over the top of his glasses. Lily laughed harder and James’s mouth twitched upwards as his façade fell down. 

Lily heard a faint thump and looked down to see that James had dropped her bag. She only had a moment to comprehend this, however, because a split second later James had wrapped his arms around her tightly, pulled her body flush against his and was kissing her as if he would never see her again. 

It took Lily, in her dazed state, only a moment to respond once she realised that James was kissing her, finally _kissing_ her, like he hadn’t in _ages_ and she threw her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to her as they continued to kiss frantically in the middle of the corridor. 

When they eventually broke apart they rested their foreheads together, breathing rapidly with their eyes still closed. 

Once she had steadied her breathing Lily opened her eyes, watching James for a moment before she slowly slid her arms from around his neck and took a half step out of his embrace. James’s hands tightened on her waist however, and he refused to let her move too far away. 

“I’ve been wanting to do that for over a _week,_ ” James said finally, smiling lopsidedly  
down at her. 

“Oh my God,” breathed Lily suddenly, only just becoming aware; “we were just snogging in themiddle of the corridor!” 

James laughed. “Ten out of ten for observation.” When she continued to look distressed he added; “relax, Lily. No one saw us – we’re not in trouble.” He gestured with his arms at the empty corridor surrounding them. 

“Alright,” she said, after glancing around the corridor for herself. She looked back at James, he was watching her with a slightly hopefully expression on his face. “What?”  
she asked. 

“I – um,” he cleared his throat, “I was hoping we could do something on Saturday, just us, you know – a date.” He scratched the back of his head absently and Lily knew he was nervous. 

She knew he was going to ask her sooner or later, they couldn’t just keep going on as they were – neither of them knew where they stood. She watched as he reached up his hand to ruffle his hair but found herself grabbing said hand mid-air. She brought their hands back down and James stared at her. 

“I’d love to,” she said, meeting his gaze and giving him a tentative smile. 

James grinned unrestrainedly. “Really?” 

Lily nodded and James gave her a quick hug. 

“Brilliant,” he said, still grinning at her as he picked her bag back up, entwined their hands and began pulling her towards the Tower. 

 

\-----------------------------------

 

Lily tapped her foot exasperatedly and glanced at her watch briefly before letting out a short huff of annoyance. It was half past ten and she was standing outside the portrait hole waiting, with growing impatience, for her tardy patrol partner. Just as  
she was about to give him up for a lost cause and patrol on her own, she heard  
the sound of running feet behind her. She whirled around just in time to see  
James skid around the corner at the end of the corridor and then continue to  
pelt towards her. She watched with her arms crossed and her eyebrows rose as he  
stopped in front of her and dropped his hands to his knees, wheezing slightly.

“Li-ly…” he paused to draw breath, “I’m sorry I’m late.” 

“ _Half an hour_ late, James!” 

“I know,” he said wincing slightly. He pulled himself back up to his full height and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I lost track of time.” 

“Doing what at ten at night?” she asked incredulously. “All your mates are in there.” She jerked a thumb back at the portrait. 

“Stuff,” said James vaguely. “Look, I’m sorry alright? It won’t happen again.” 

Lily rolled her eyes. “Try to take this seriously, yeah?” 

“I’m serious!” he protested. “You have to admit, I did a good job at that meeting,” he finished with a smirk. 

Lily shook her head but smiled slightly. He was referring to the meeting they had run for the prefects shortly after returning to school where they had assigned patrol  
schedules and other duties. 

“Come on,” she sighed, “let’s not stand here any longer or this’ll take hours and I’d rather not be patrolling the corridors on a Friday night.” 

“Ah,” said James, falling into step beside her. “Not even with me?” 

Lily snorted. “You practically stood me up.” 

“I did not stand you up! Not there is even such a thing for patrolling.” 

“I was about to go without you,” Lily replied, looking sideways at him so she could shoot him a little glare. 

“Don’t be mad at me,” James wheedled. “I didn’t do it on purpose.” 

“Yeah, I know. You’re just naturally scatterbrained.” 

“I think I’m offended.” 

“Good.” 

There was a short pause before James spoke again. “So, am I forgiven?” he sidled closer to her and snuck his arm around her waist. 

Lily sucked in her breath slightly and tried to control her rapid heartbeat as she reacted to the sudden close proximity. “Whatever.” 

James pulled her even closer and kissed her cheek gently. Lily felt a flush spread rapidly across her entire face at the brief contact and she wriggled away from him. 

“We’re supposed to be patrolling,” she reminded him. 

James’s eyes were glittering, it must be fairly obvious the effect he was having on her. “So?” 

“So, I thought you were taking this seriously?” she asked, bringing his own words back to him. 

“I am,” he replied and tried to come closer to her again. 

“Oi,” she said and put her hands up in front of her. “Tonight is patrolling, James. The date is tomorrow…” 

“Oh, I know,” he reassured her. He paused and pulled a tapestry aside, stuck his head in briefly and then carried on walking. “You weren’t opposed the other day,” he commented slyly. 

“Well, I-“ she spluttered. “Stop it,” she said pointedly. “We should do this properly; you’re supposed to _woo_ me on our date.” 

James grinned at her as she fidgeted with her hands, feeling extremely flustered. 

“What the lady wants, the lady gets,” he said with a wink. 

“You’re a prat,” she informed him. 

“So you keep telling me,” he replied easily, grinning at her. 

They fell into a comfortable silence after that as they walked side by side along the dull corridors; Lily stuffed her hands into her pockets, feeling inexplicably nervous about the possibility of accidentally touching him as they walked. _Such an idiot,_ she berated herself silently, _you’re going on a_ date _with the boy tomorrow!_ Thought of the imminent date made Lily blush and she was thankful for the dim lighting; James had seen her blush enough to last a lifetime.  

Forcing her thoughts in another direction, Lily found herself drawn back to the only other thing that was occupying her mind of late. She frowned slightly at the back of  
James’s head as he twisted to peer into a little crevice in the wall. Should she tell him about her searching? He was the only other person who seemed to be as entangled in this mess as she was … had he changed his mind from the other  
week? 

“James,” she blurted out suddenly, her voice sounding unnaturally loud in the blanketing silence. 

“Yeah?” 

“I-“ she floundered, struggling to formulate an appropriate sentence. “I think I’m,  
going a little bit crazy.” 

James laughed. Okay, maybe that wasn’t the most appropriate sentence. 

“In what way?” he asked teasingly. 

“Shut up,” she said, hitting him lightly. “That came out a little wrong.” 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah, um, I-“ 

“Is it _me_ driving you crazy?” James interrupted slyly. 

“Merlin, James. I’m trying to be serious here!” 

“Okay, okay. Sorry,” he conceded, putting his hands up in surrender. “What is it?” 

“It’s all this business with my mum and…” she bit her lip, “I don’t know … it’s just … it’s all I can think about sometimes, I can’t get away from it.” 

James stopped walking and put a hand on Lily’s arm to halt her. He caught her gaze and the suddenly serious expression in his eyes made Lily sure he understood what she was talking about. 

He sighed a bit and moved his hand down her arm a bit to grab her hand. “I know this is horrible, Lily,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry you’ve had to go through it at all.” 

Lily looked down at the hand now held in his. James moved his thumb across the back of her hand comfortingly. She pursed her lips together; would he be angry at her if she told him what she had been doing? 

“Have the aurors been in touch?” he asked after a moment. 

Lily looked back up at him and shook her head. “It’s ridiculous; they should have found something by now.” 

“I’m sure they’re doing their best, Lily.” 

“I know. It’s just … so frustrating! I feel completely helpless and I hate it …” 

“I know it can’t be much fun but, Lily, you really have just got to let them do their job.” 

“But what if I could do something…” _am already doing something…  
_

“They know what they’re doing,” James said firmly. 

Lily swallowed with difficulty. How could she tell him now? 

“You just need to try and keep your mind off everything,” James was saying, he smiled at her. “I think I can help.” 

He pulled his hand out of hers and draped it securely around her shoulders, pulling her close.  

This time Lily didn’t pull away, instead she relaxed into him and tried to stop _thinking._

“Shall we get on with patrols then?” James asked cheerfully. 

Lily laughed a bit and nodded her assent, allowing James to lead her through the corridors, firmly attached to her side all the while.

 

\---------------------------------------

 

“Okay, did he say what you would be doing?” 

“Not a word.” 

“That’s not giving me much to work with, Lily.” 

“It’s not my fault!” 

“Oi, don’t shout. I thought you wanted my help?” 

Lily sighed and flipped over on her bed so that she was lying on her stomach facing their wardrobe. 

“I’m sorry, Jen. I honestly don’t know what to suggest.” 

Jen huffed with exasperation as her head disappeared back inside the wardrobe. The pair had been in this situation for the past half hour, ever since Lily had conceded defeat and asked her friend for help in choosing what she was going to wear for her date. 

“Okay,” said Jen eventually, emerging from the wardrobe with an armful of clothes. “Let’s just go simple but sophisticated.” 

“Alright,” Lily agreed, dragging herself off the bed. That didn’t sound too bad. 

“These are your best jeans, yeah?” Jen asked, putting a pair of skinny jeans in front of Lily and stepping back slightly, cocking her head to the side. 

“Yes.” Lily took the jeans off her friend and draped them over her arm. “That’s fine. Now, what else have you selected?” 

Jen presented Lily with several plain tops and after a moment of deliberation Lily picked the green one which hugged her form nicely. 

“Sorted!” Lily announced a moment later, having slipped into her chosen outfit. 

“Shoes, Lily,” Jen scoffed. 

“Oh!” Shoes would definitely be useful. She looked down at her sock clad feet and then under her bed, grabbing several pairs of flat shoes and trainers and eyeing them critically. 

“No!” Jen cried, looking scandalised as Lily picked up her trainers. She closed her eyes for a brief second and then snatched the shoes out of Lily’s hands. 

“Hey!” 

“You can’t wear _trainers_!” 

“Why not?” 

“Honestly, Lily, haven’t I taught you anything?” 

Lily rolled her eyes and waited slightly impatiently as Jen dove back in the wardrobe, muttering all the while. 

“Trainers.. pfft… now where…aha!” 

As Jen straightened up proudly she held out a pair of high heeled boots to Lily. 

“Heels?” asked Lily, with a raise of her eyebrows. 

“Yes, heels,” said Jen impatiently. “Now, hurry up and get them on!” 

Lily sat down on her bed with a small huff, pulling the boots on and stretching out her legs to see the effect. “I don’t wear heels, Jen,” she said, eyeing them dubiously. 

"Well these _are_ yours,” was her friend’s response. 

Lily screwed up her nose, damn, she was right. 

“Stand up!” 

Lily did so, slightly reluctantly and teetered a little. 

“I’m going to fall over!” 

“No, you’re not,” Jen scoffed. “Don’t be such a baby. Now, come here, I need to do something with your make-up.” 

Lily wobbled over and Jen rolled her eyes.  

“Don’t do anything mad,” Lily warned her. “I don’t wear much make-up.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” said Jen, already summoning her blusher and mascara and eying Lily critically. 

“I don’t need blusher; I go red enough on my own.”  

Jen laughed. “True.” She applied a few coats of mascara and stepped back. “You’ll do.” 

“Thanks,” said Lily dryly. 

Jen grinned at her, stepping forward again to fluff up Lily’s wayward curls and pull them around to frame her face. 

“Ready?” she asked Lily once she’s finished messing with her hair. 

“What? Now?” 

Jen raised an eyebrow. “Yes, now.” She twisted her arm to show Lily the time and her friend jumped slightly. 

“Oh my god. I didn’t know it was seven _now_.”  

“Come on, you baby.” Jen grabbed Lily’s arm and tried to pull her forwards but she dug in her heels. 

“Wait! I’m not ready!” 

“Yes, you are.” 

“No, I’m not! I can’t! I mean, what if… and I’m… I don’t-“ 

“Breathe.” 

“I’m breathing,” said Lily in a small voice. 

“What are you panicking about?” 

Lily shrugged slightly, attempting to take deep breaths to calm her pounding heart. 

“It’s just a date, Lily,” said Jen in a soothing tone, “nothing to get worked up over.” 

“But it’s _James_ ,” Lily whispered. “And… he… means a lot to me,” she finished, her eyes widening with the sudden truth behind her words.  

Jen smiled at her. “So don’t turn up late to your first date then!” 

Lily took a deep breath and smiled. “God, Jen, you’re right.” She snorted with laughter. “I’m being ridiculous.” 

Jen laughed with her and looped her arm through Lily’s affectionately. 

“Come on then, I’ll walk you down.” The pair were almost to the bottom of the stairs when Jen started laughing again. 

“What?” 

“Why do I feel like I’m walking you down the isle?” 

“Jen!” Lily giggled and felt her face burn with embarrassment just as they emerged into the common room. 

“Here he comes,” Jen managed to get out between her laughter and Lily’s face only heated up more as James walked up to them, smiling widely and looking ridiculously handsome. 

“Hello ladies,” James said charmingly, flashing Lily a huge grin and a wink. “Am I taking both of you out?” 

“I’m just giving Lily away,” Jen managed to get out before she collapsed in giggles again, unlinking her arm from Lily’s and pushing her towards James with a grin. 

Lily stumbled slightly in her heels and James caught her arm, steadying her. 

“Ignore her,” she said, wishing her blush would disappear.  

James only laughed and took Lily’s hand, linking their fingers together securely. 

“Have fun!” shouted Jen as James began to lead her away. Lily managed a quick goodbye and James waved over his shoulder as they made their exit. 

“Here,” said James once they were out in the corridor, waving his wand he produced half a dozen red roses which he handed to her with a flourish and a peck on her cheek. “You look lovely by the way.” 

“Thanks,” said Lily with a small smile, admiring her roses as they walked. “Where are we going?” 

“Wait and see,” James responded mysteriously.  

“We’re not going anywhere we’re not supposed to be, are we?” she asked dubiously.

James laughed. “Not really.” 

“Not really? What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Lily,” James said with a grin, tugging her hand to bring her closer to him, “stop fretting.” 

“I’m not fretting,” she muttered, pointedly ignoring James’s  
knowing grin. 

“This way,” said James a couple of minutes later, pulling on Lily’s hand as she, apparently, started to wander off in the wrong direction. 

“But the only thing here is the entrance hall,” said Lily in confusion as they entered said area and continued to walk across it. 

“Exactly.” 

Lily tugged on James’s hand as they approached the great oak doors leading to the grounds, forcing him to stop. Where was he taking her? 

“We can’t go outside, James,” she explained patiently. 

“Why not?” 

Lily resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Well, you can’t just go out at this time of night. Look, the doors are even shut.” 

“The doors are shut quite a lot, Lily,” James said, shrugging. “It’s perfectly safe, trust me. Besides, if we bump into anyone – which we won’t – we can just tell them we were hunting down rule breakers.”  He smirked at her, looking entirely too pleased with himself.  

“Oh my god,” muttered Lily, shaking her head as she realised she didn’t really have any objections to following him wherever he was going. “You’ve corrupted me.” 

James laughed boisterously and pulled her through the doors with a slight spring in his step. 

“I knew I’d get to you eventually,” he told her satisfactorily causing her to really roll her eyes this time. 

“Don’t go too fast,” she said, coming closer to him, “I don’t think these shoes were made for grass.” 

James chuckled again but conceded, slowing his pace to allow Lily to walk comfortably next to him as they headed off into the dusk.  

“We’re not going into the forest are we?” she asked apprehensively as she noticed the oppressive shapes looming in front of them. 

“Now that _would_ be dangerous,” said James causing Lily to look up at him in alarm. “Of course not,” he soothed, “we’re nearly there actually.” He steered them around the trees to a secluded spot which was like a little clearing but not actually in the forest. 

Lily looked around them; she couldn’t see the castle anymore or Hagrid’s hut… or anything but James for that matter.   

“Lil,” said James patiently, causing her to turn back to him. “Why have you stopped? Come on.” 

Lily allowed James to pull her forwards without another word, starting to silently wonder whether James might just be a little bit mad, and was he bringing her out her to murder her? 

She snorted almost inaudibly at her stupidity as she nearly fell over again; _why_ did she wear these _shoes_? She was going to have to teach Jen that it was not always dating code to wear _heels_ , _especially_ when ones date planned to take you on a _hike_ through shrubbery. 

“Oh,” she said softly as she walked straight into James. She had been so busy brooding she hadn’t noticed that he’d stopped.  

James grinned at her and she scowled a little back. “Is the hike over?” she asked pointedly. 

James chuckled but nodded in the affirmative. “Worth it, no?” he then said, gesturing in front of him with wide arms. 

Lily looked beyond her stupid date for the first time and felt herself, very _reluctantly_ , agree that, yes, it was worth it. 

James had led her to another small clearing that bordered on the lake – _perfect_ , isolated location – and he had obviously been here to prepare because he had lain out a picnic blanket of all things and there was a huge basket (which she presumed held all sorts of food) and there were floating candles all around them and _Merlin,_ it was amazing. 

It was all too much. 

She held her breath as her heart slammed in her chest; she couldn’t believe he had done all this for _her._

“You like it?” James asked, breaking the silence. 

She looked back to him and was surprised to hear the unsure tone in his voice and see the worry in his face. _He was as worried as she was._

Somehow that made it all ok. She smiled widely, feeling her beating heart calm to a speed that didn’t quite feel like it was going to explode out of her chest and she was relieved to see James’s answering grin.  

They stood there like loons for a couple of minutes, just grinning at each other before Lily started blushing, realising just what she was doing. 

“Er,” she said, gesturing awkwardly to the blanket, “should we…?” 

“Oh yeah,” said James, breaking out of his grinning trance and grabbing her hand. He led her over to the blanket and they both sat down, getting comfortable. 

Lily wriggled her bum a little, damn, this was a lovely blanket! 

“It’s really comfy,” she exclaimed, “and…warm? It’s warm,” she laughed. 

“I charmed it,” was James’s reply, smiling at her enjoyment. 

_Of course, he did._

“Would you like something to eat, miss?” James said, opening his basket and delving inside. 

Lily laughed and crawled over to inspect what food he had brought. 

The next couple of hours passed by quickly as they laughed and ate and just talked non-stop. Lily was glad that after the initial shock over what he had done, they both relaxed and got on better than they ever had. She didn’t want the evening to end. 

It unfortunately couldn’t go on forever, and as the shadows from the candles began lengthening around them, James looked up and frowned unhappily. 

“It’s getting dark,” he said, unnecessarily. 

“Yes, it is,” Lily said with a little smirk. 

“Shh,” James chastised her. “We need to get back,” he finished reluctantly. 

“Oh,” she said in surprise.  

She was shocked at how that hadn’t even occurred to her. 

James smiled at her disappointed face. “The grounds after dark isn’t always the safest of places,” he told her, “especially this close to the forest.” 

Lily looked around her; under the canopy of trees, the forest was already black and the shadows seemed to be creeping outwards, engulfing the lawns. She shuddered involuntarily.  

“Come on,” James said, scrambling to his feet and offering Lily his hand. She took it and he pulled her up, grinning when she wobbled slightly in her heels. Holding her hand tightly in his left, he took out his wand and waved it once, causing everything to fold neatly into the basket, and twice, causing the basket to disappear –  resumably reappearing in his dormitory. 

“Ready?” he asked her then, looking at her sideways. 

Lily nodded reluctantly, feeling captured under his gaze. James didn’t move and Lily felt her heart beginning to pound again as he stared directly into her eyes. _  
_

_If he didn’t kiss her now she was going to explode!_

And with that thought she pitched herself forwards suddenly and jerkily and pressed her mouth hard against his. It took James less than a second to respond and he released her hand to wrap both of his arms around her securely as he kissed her back with urgency. 

The kiss went on until Lily, dizzy with emotion and lack of oxygen, pulled away to breathe, gripping James’s shoulders tightly as she struggled to lower her heart rate. 

“Bloody hell, Lily,” James muttered after a moment, pressing another brief kiss to her lips and letting out a breathy chuckle. 

Lily smiled at him, feeling light and happy and not caring about the blush that she knew was staining her cheeks. It just felt so _right_. 

“Lil,” James started, curiously looking slightly nervous, “I have to ask you something because if I don’t I think I might just _explode_ or something.” He paused and regarded her with what looked like hopeful eyes. 

“Yeah?” Lily prodded him gently. 

“I want… I mean,” he coughed, “will you…be my girlfriend?” 

Lily froze at his question. _Will you be my girlfriend?_ Of course he asked her that. What else would he ask? 

_Will you be my girlfriend?  
_

It felt _right_ , remember? 

And Lily found herself answering before she had really thought about it. “Yes,” she said. 

“Did you… just say yes?” James asked, widening his eyes at her. 

Lily laughed and full out grinned at him, “Yes, James, I did.” 

James grinned back and kissed her again, hard and fast, before pulling her into his arms and hugging her tightly. She closed her eyes and breathed him in, feeling beautifully content right there, in his arms.

 

\--------------------------------------------------

 

 

“Sounds like such a romantic evening,” Hannah sighed, hugging a pillow to her chest and collapsing on her bed with a sigh. 

Lily laughed at her friend but couldn’t help agreeing with her sentiments. She had just finished telling her friends all about her date with James and was still glowing with it all. 

“Why can’t I find someone like that?” moaned Jen. 

Clare rolled her eyes at Jen, ignoring her. “At least it took your mind off everything else, right? It’s great to see you looking so happy.” 

Lily smiled back at Clare but her words tripped something inside her. It was like a switch; happy Lily/frustrated Lily, and damn it Clare had only gone and reminded her about all the other crap going on in her life. She had been having such a good evening! 

“What?” said Clare dubiously, “did I say something wrong?”  

Lily shook her head, feeling her huge smile fading for the first time. “I just… I’d just forgotten about everything else for a bit which was nice but…I have to sort it out, it’s driving me crazy.” 

“No, you don’t,” rebuked Jen, sounding suddenly serious. 

Lily looked over at her friend to see her sitting up and regarding Lily with narrowed eyes.  

“I can’t leave it, Jen,” Lily said, frowning, “I have to find out who this man is!” 

“No, Lily,” said Hannah, joining in. “I thought we’d already had this conversation!” 

“Why are you all treating me like an idiot?” Lily exclaimed. “I _know_ this is important and no-one believes me!” 

“Because you’ve got no evidence, Lily,” said Jen reasonably. “We’re just looking out for you; we don’t want to see you hurt.” 

“Urgh,” Lily muttered, ignoring the truth in Jen’s words and simply scowling at all her friends. “What sort of friends are you anyway?” she snapped. 

“Good ones,” Clare replied, reaching out to touch Lily.  

Lily frowned at her and got up off Clare’s bed, out of her reach. 

“Just leave me alone, please,” she said plainly, ignoring the pointed looks her friends were giving each other and throwing herself onto her bed, tugged the curtains shut around her. 

She had finally snapped.  

Wrenching a piece of parchment and a quill out of her bag, she dipped hurriedly into her ink pot and began scratching furiously across her parchment. Her mum had the answers and damn it, she was going to tell her!

 

_Dear Mum,  
_

_Sorry this is the first chance I’ve had to write to you; everything has just been so hectic! School work is a lot harder this year and I’ve had so much to do as Head Girl, I’ve barely had any free time.  
_

_There’s only one thing to tell you really; and I suppose it won’t surprise you, given all those comments you kept making over the summer. James asked me out tonight and I said yes, so we’re…together now, I suppose. There you go, thought that would make you happy.  
_

_Before I go, I just wanted to ask you something_

 

Lily paused, holding her quill just an inch away from her parchment as she screwed her face up in concentration; trying to decide just _how_ she was going to phrase this. As much as she didn’t want to hurt her mother (and admit that she had been snooping through her things), if the photograph _did_ have something to do with what happened… well, she had to know who it was to determine that possibility. 

As she began to put her quill back to the letter an errant thought made her freeze again. What if....? It was certainly worth checking about before she started accusing her mother. 

With her mind still buzzing she jumped back off her bed and was half way to the door when Clare’s voice stopped her. 

“Where are you going, Lily? It’s really late.” 

She froze and slowly turned, seeing all three of her friends watching her worriedly. Not wanting another fight, she shrugged and muttered; “Oh, er … just to the library. Need a … um… a book. I’ll be back soon.” 

“But it’s nearly after curfew.” 

Lily flashed her a slightly strained smile, “Head Girl, remember?” before hurriedly leaving the dormitory and slipping down the stairs. 

 


End file.
